Wednesday, August 29, 2007

My Sacred Life Day 10

What a rich process this project is! I am today one third of the way through the month of this project, and as Kelly has written about before, I find my life changing as I look at my ordinary life and see the blessings and sacredness it offers, trying to cull what is significant for this blog.

First I want to share the card spread I got today. My intention was praying for "soul sisters":



This reminds me that:

1. I need to be looking for mentors and role models, attuned to possibilities here.

2. To shift the energy here, I NEED more solitude. It is hard to find, but for me it is necessary. Processing what happens to me generates the energy that moves me forward in life, and more importantly, that keeps me from getting caught up in a type of cultural centrifugal force that first captures me in its movement, and then drags me down...down...down to where I feel like I'm circling a spiritual drain.

3. I need to work. WORK. Work at visualizing and getting excited with positive expectation towards what I want. Spiritual community. Rich spiritual community. Positive, loving, intelligent friends. Similar to Exactly like here, in the My Sacred Life community :) But in my local, non-virtual life, too.

Cool.

And then, I wanted to share something fun that started off my day RIGHT. I first had a quiet time, and wrote extensively in my journal. Then, I had a lovely breakfast. This was Castellana pasta with fresh tarragon, tomatoes from my garden mixed with olive oil, French salt mixed with lavender, topped with my chickens' eggs:



Decadent? Indulgent? Actually, I am switching my focus from "losing weight" or "releasing weight" to "reclaiming my beauty", which is scary for me.

First, I got rid of my scale.

Then, I stopped thinking about food all the time; I naturally eat healthfully, and love food...I just have, in the past, eaten to nurture myself and focused too intensively on this as a sole way of finding nurturance. I demanded from myself to stop thinking about dieting and decided to get sustenance and pleasure from food, and forget about losing weight...while at the same time, not overeating...

So I allowed myself this lovely breakfast. I would have felt guilty before, but not today. I am reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert with Deb from Spiritual Anecdotes. I am enjoying myself! And expecting in the long run, that if I keep my choices healthy, refuse to overeat, and develop OTHER sources of pleasures...then the weight will take care of itself.

Of course, this is not a popular plan.

But I like it, and alternate between knowing that it will be successful, and occasionally being scared out of my mind that I'm going to be 250 pounds (again) and in a wheelchair (again). But this feels right to me. I'm a different person now than I was then, and am strongly motivated to push ahead this unconventional way, knowing in my heart that it is best for my body...and my soul.

10 comments:

Karen said...

I'm reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' too! Isn't it wonderful?

I'm trying to be healthier, and I'm eating only whole foods--if I couldn't pick it or kill it, I don't eat it. I find myself having to really think about whether I'm actually hungry or I just want to eat...

Olivia said...

Gosh, Karen, that's great...three of us! You, me and Deb. This will be fun...it is a wonderful book!

Leah said...

i loved "eat, pray, love". :-)

and your eating plan is pretty much the same as the one i subscribe to. your description of it reminds me very much of geneen roth's writing (she wrote "when food is love" among many others), which was very helpful to me when i was struggling with food issues. your breakfast looks delightful!

Patti said...

Such glorious food and from your own garden! Your eating plan sounds a lot like mine too. I love my food and it must be fresh and colourful. Walking and yoga especially, keeps the weight under control. But having said that, I have never owned a set of scales and rely totally on how I feel and whether the clothes fit and whether or not I am happy in myself.

Olivia said...

Y'all are amazing Leah and Patti...I'm just discovering all of this stuff.

Leah, I read Geneen Roth when I was younger but it didn't sink in; I was too afraid of just letting go and trusting my body. I guess it took until now when I was ready.

Kara said...

I love Sonia's cards so it was fun to see them here on your blog.

Like you I adore the connections made in this online community but I also crave people locally for a similar experience.

I'm envious of having "my chickens'eggs" for breakfast.

I checked out of the library a long while ago a book called Fit from Within by Victoria Moran - it comes to mind as inspiration as you shift to "reclaiming my beauty".

Journey Through Life said...

Your plan SHOULD be the popular plan. Having had to deal with these issues my whole live, all my experiences have led me to the same thing. I still struggle to try and put it into action though. Perhaps I should look at the book you keep mentioning.

I'd love to keep hearing about your journey with this. Thanks for sharing.

Annie
xxx

Journey Through Life said...

Hey Olivia, I was thinking if there are a few people reading this book together maybe we could set up a blog for it with a few people all able to post on it. We could share our experiences and responses to the words and the positive experiences of incorporating into our lives - all in the one spot. Just a crazy thought I had. What do you think?
You can email me on annieletter @ hotmail. com if your would like.
Annie

Kikipotamus the Hobo said...

Hey, the POPULAR stuff is not working. A whole mind/spirit shift isn't something people can buy from that late-night infomercial. What you're feeling is the real thing. Listen to your body and soul.

You have CHICKENS??? That's so cool. Can you post a picture of them?

Olivia said...

Thanks, Kara, I have that book somewhere, but haven't read it...I'll dig it out. I like my plan, but...ANNIE, I really struggle. Especially at the top of the curve, like right now. Going on a diet would be so tempting, except that I don't believe in it!

Oh, Annie, I love your idea, and I emailed you :)