Doing Art...Imperfectly

This is via Kristine Mays on Facebook, and it was so good I wanted to share it here. Note that it does contain some profanity. It is about doing art...imperfectly.

Creative Endeavors for 2011

I decided to participate in Ken Robert's "Let's Make a Mess of 2011 - The Thirty Dirty Pages Project".  You can see his lovely title page here. Who wants to join me?

To participate, you draw a hand drawn page every day. When you have 30 you turn them into a book. The book can/will be messy.

The rules are:
(1) Draw something.
(2) Write something.
(3) Make a page.
(4) Repeat daily.
(5) Get out of the way!

Only rule #5 is mandatory. I am going to do it. I like that it can be ordinary or bad (as in messy and/or done by someone with zero talent). I know I'll enjoy this because I fit right in. And hey, at the end I have a book.

And I am still in The Queen of Creativity's Castle. They are all so good over there. I haven't participated as much as I want to, having trouble moving forward, still. I think that the messy drawings from Ken's group may help me to lose my fears of showing my art. Thus, more participation here in Kate's castle. It is more of something I aspire to than something that I can actually do. Today. But maybe not tomorrow!

And lastly, Leah's Creative Every Day for 2011. I'm up for it, Leah. I skipped 2010 and missed it. So I'm back. Creative every day enhances my life. I like the reminder and the accountability.







So I'll be looking forward to some good creative times in 2011 and look forward to sharing them with you!

Delving into "The Space Below"

This is a YouTube video that I made in response to a creative challenge from Kate's ning community called  "The Queen of Creativity Castle". It is a response to this poem:

the space below

“ there was a whole world inside of her filled with stars and caves and  demons and gold. she tinkered and played in that world - but it was
in the space below - in the depths of deep - that the real stuff was.
and it was there she needed to go. ”

~terri st. cloud

The video is 9 minutes long.  It was somewhat challenging to make, and from now on I plan to break it up into shorter portions. I also plan to stop saying "umm!", sorry for the annoyance. I had to redo it 3X because YouTube has increased their video quality so much since the last time I did a video that you could read every word I wrote in my journal. Thus huge portions were cut out, and the editing is a bit crude. Still, I wanted to share this with everyone, and I hope you like it anyway!

Do It!

I saw this on my friend Patti's blog:

So now...Do It!

Introversion and a New Creative Community

Here is a great article about introversion from Psychology Today, for all of you fellow introverts and for those who want to understand us! I hope you enjoy it.

I found out about the article via the Queen of Creativity---Kate---who also has a new creative community called The Queen of Creativity Castle on ning. I have followed Kate's art on her blog for years and watched it grow and develop; she inspires me and I'm delighted to be a part of this new community. It you want to flex your creativity muscles, visit and consider joining in!

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark with my edits

New Sheets

My 10th wedding anniversary is coming up in one week. It's hard to believe I've been married to LoveHubbie this long. This year, I decided to do something creative. We previously had our original comforter on our king bed, which is also 10 years old. So I decided to put together a beautiful new sheet set.


I only mostly shop on the Internet, so I did it using Amazon, trying to coordinate everything with a treasured drawing of Moku`ula that hangs in my bedroom (as well as the subject of my book). It's pretty hard to do, but an exciting way to exercise creativity--at least that's how I experienced it. I'm always looking for deals, too, so that made it extra fun.


Here is the blessedly short movie I did about this:





Unfortunately the movie came out like an action movie with the camera swaying all over the place and the details blurred and pixelated. I debated about putting it up at all, but I really wanted to show it to you! And for right now, I don't know how to improve it. I obviously need to learn much more about how to make clear movies and about how to package them for YouTube, but this will have to do until then. 


Here is a picture of LoveHubbie and me from over 30 years ago in our engagement picture:  

As some of you know, we married other people, and are grateful for a second chance to be together in middle age.


Peace and joy to everyone this weekend, O

Visit Jane

I won an apron from Jane last month, and I wanted to tell everyone that it is gorgeous, wonderful and IT FITS! For those of you who visit Jane's blog and Jane's etsy shop, you may have noticed that she is an attractive petite woman who looks gorgeous in little aprons. I am not that. But I do love her aprons as well as everything else she creates.

One thing about Jane is that she is currently unemployed. She's considering many different options. I am hoping that she ends up deciding to follow her strong creative streak and contribute to express herself via her many creations, not just for sale, but in her home. She has enormous energy and could do whatever she wants to do. So please do visit her, and if you're so inspired, leave her a comment, or buy something from her etsy shop! YAY Jane! And thank you again. xo

Encouragement for Creatives

This video was recommended by Kelly and is fantastic. It features Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote "Eat, Pray, Love" and is 20 minutes long, but soooo good, called "A Different Way To Think About Creative Genius". When you have the time and are interested in creativity, watch it, as it's sooo worth it!

~Photo via Cute Overload from Wing and a Prayer and Creativity+ Timothy K. Hamilton

Sacred Life Sunday: Primroses in the Snow

One rare and lovely time this week when I was feeling particularly good I stepped outside to take a few pictures.



I saw the primroses planted by an angel (actually our gardener, Angela, but pretty close) right after the snow. They were a surprise.




They brightened my day. On this sacred Sabbath, it is good to rest and remember that there is so much grace in little things. Kelly has been writing about this on her blog as part of the Grace in Small Things project. I thought it would be the perfect theme for this post.

I haven't blogged for 10 days, which is unusual for me. I've been working on getting my health together, and have been plagued with very low energy and a flurry of "migraines from hell" that finally abated this morning. I'm actually doing okay though, because of the hope that I have in a full recovery, which I think will come soon, in the next few weeks when I get my hormones balanced. I feel so grateful for everything in my life. Especially for the ability to afford health care, to pay for the hormones, to be able to stay home and rest and take care of myself, and more. I feel extremely blessed. Thank all of you for your wonderful support during this time!

For Valentine's Day I made LoveHubbie an unusual Valentine. It's sort of a shrine or maybe better, a diorama with little messages for him hidden throughout. The centerpiece of the assemblage is an old refrigerator part that I could have discarded but was inspired to use for this. I used an additional refrigerator part in the center-upper right as well. That's what happens when your refrigerator needs repaired! I anchored them with superglue (they were heavy!) and then in wax covering the whole back of the box about 1/4 inches thick. I painted them and then put all kinds of little hearts and glittery embellishments all over. I made some gift tags and used some acetate hearts as well. It was so much fun. I think that this is the sort of thing I enjoy most of all---completely unpredictable one-of-a-kind playful art---that actually ends up making sense to me in the end.

The Week of Creative Ridiculousness

This post about creativity called "Ridiculous" is by Todd Henry. He asks us to join him in having a week of Creative Ridiculousness---what do you think? Does this inspire you? I know it does me. Kate I chose "playful" as her word; young children have no fear of being judged when they play. This week, I hope to engage in some creatively ridiculous play!

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark, altered by me

BE BRAVE: Day 7: Permission

Today I was so inspired by Leah's post. I decided to revise the way I'm doing the BE BRAVE challenge to more fit the way I operate best. Instead of doing something every day for a month for 30 days straight---which is intense and challenging and hard-driving---things that all appeal to me, I've decided that I would grow more this time (Season Two, my second time through) by doing things differently. I'm giving myself permission!

Instead of being intense, challenging, and hard-driving, I'm going to do BE BRAVE s-l-o-w-l-y, gently, and with time between BE BRAVE actions to integrate, at whatever pace works best for me. I love the idea of garnering my energy first, then taking a BE BRAVE action, then resting and integrating. It sounds luscious, and removes the pressure and striving from the way I was doing it. Even late at night, as I'm tired, I'm much more excited about it.

I know, I know, I should have seen this before, but I'm just relieved to see it now. Rereading the comments you all left have inspired me that this is the right path for me.

Today I had a busy day. I made broiled figs with ricotta cheese for brunch, then LoveHubbie and I went to the Farmer's Market for more fresh fruit. We got apricots, peaches, and cherries.

We continued on to Costco, where I got some shelves for all of my cluttered art stuff. It had expanded beyond my studio into the tv/guest room and into piles and piles in the back of the office. So just to get one thing to add to a collage would involve me rooting through all of these piles. So now it's late and I'm tired but I can do my art again now.

This video is nice and short, 1:40:

Wordle

Where I found this, I don't know (it was on someone's blog today). It's called Wordle, and it's a free online tool to use to play with words. Here's what Wordle says about itself:

"Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text."

Of course, you can just make a list, and increase the frequency of words you want to appear larger. Then you can edit colors and more. Here is what I did:



And then this is what I created by plugging in the text from my most recent wordy post, "Sacred Sunday: Desperate for Joy":





What fun with words! To see what can be done, see other examples in the gallery or create your own...

Breathing Alone in Bellevue

If you haven't been reading my blog, this is a continuing saga that will make more sense if you read first this, then this, and finally this.

I never did go back to my seminar. I'd decided not to after my Wednesday night experience. Good, you say. I know, I hear you!

But I still had to talk to LoveHubbie and tell him that for right now the money he'd put out for the seminar was potentially lost. I'd bought the hotel room reservation over Priceline so I thought that the unused amount could be lost too. I did not expect him to be supportive but he was very supportive. Then I did all of the housekeeping stuff: withdrawing from the seminar, setting things up to get my money back (since I charged it on my credit card, thank goodness), trying to get the hotel remainder money back, talking to a doctor about my earache (which was still severe), getting my knee taken care of (I fell walking up some stairs too...don't ask) with a knee brace, ducking the cult calls and emails.

I wanted to emotionally recover and adjust. In a way that would help me to learn about resilience---which is, after all, my theme here. Little did I know that I wouldn't just study about it and think about it, but that I'd be challenged to exercise resilience!

What helped me the most was reading your comments, friends! They helped me along the way so much. It was healing to me to respond to each comment and think about it and integrate it into my experience so that I grow from this. My boundaries are obviously needing strengthening; I'd thought that after a strong cult background and a multitude of abusive relationships, I'd be beyond this, but alas! I still have lessons to learn.

I also decided to do something creative, which I will do soon and share with you. It's a surprise! I'm in Leah's Creative Every Day 2008 Challenge, and although I've been quiet about it, I've been getting a lot out of it and decided to really step out here. You'll see :) I want to Be Brave in a sensible, creative, healing way and then share it with you.

In the interests of resilience, I decided to stay and finish my "retreat". Mainly because I couldn't get my money back. But still. I could have gone home, but I've been writing productively on my book, and am treating myself to a hotel retreat. It feels very extravagant, but LoveHubbie is on board with it and supportive...and since the money is spent anyway, it makes sense. I am working four hours a day and enjoying every minute of it. I want to keep this habit up when I go home.

It's fun because there is nothing to do but write or take breaks. I can still exercise and do yoga (albeit with a knee brace)..there are some poses that work. I can still walk (albeit slowly, with that dang knee brace) around downtown Bellevue. Lots of time to think, read, and nothing else to distract me. I just love it. Paradise!

And Kelly's breathing exercise from Eckhart Tolle still haunts me, and is the breathing exercise that after all is said and done most appeals to me...simply noticing my breathing as often as I remember. It's easy, simple, and free. And it works. And it has no creepy cult associated with it, either.

Thank you..everyone...those who commented and those who didn't...but especially those of you who cheered me on here. Know that your support made a huge difference to me.

~Photo from Cute Overload

Happy New Year 2008

Sacred Life Sunday: My First Art Journal

For Sacred Life Sunday, I started my Art Journal. This was sacred, daring, nurturing, and satisfying for me today.

I found out about how to do an art journal in this video by Suziblu.

Here is the link to Leslie's Comfortable Shoes Studio blog. I got a screaming deal on the journal for $19.99 on ebay. It is worth way more than that, of course. Leslie has another one just like mine on etsy now but it costs twice that. It's still a fantastic deal. I treasure mine and will keep it forever.

Ha, ha, I see that Leslie is on Suziblu's blogroll. Is that cool or what?

Here is my video about my first art journal. I apologize for the way the zoom was a little off at the end. This was because I had it on for the wasp (see below).

All you GWCC-ers may note that I'm finding creative ways for dealing with my anger. This particular time I did not transmute it, but expressed it in the journal. Overwhelm would be a good way of describing how I feel today...however...so far I've gone almost 22 hours with no GWCC! I have never gone a full day before. But anyway, it, er...backed up a bit. This is maybe not the best way of dealing with it, but it is less destructive than many other ways I would have chosen in the past, so I'm happy.

UPDATE: My new record is now 22.5 hours with no GWCC. I wanted to make it a full day...I will, hopefully one day soon.

So here is my video, less than two minutes long:





And here, for your amusement, is an OTV outtake that is 50 seconds long. It was kind of funny and educational so I thought I'd include it :)





This post is about the Complaint-Free Challenge, otherwise known as GWCC. If you'd like to find out more about creating a Complaint Free World, see my earlier post here. If you don't know how the complaint free bracelet works, find out how here.

Sacred Sunday on Monday

I missed Sacred Sunday yesterday, so I decided to have it today. I desperately needed a sacred sabbath, a time of reflection, a time to slow the pace and just be.

I have been participating in NaNoWriMo, the writing project in which participants create a first draft of a novel in 30 days. We are currently on Day 12. To write 1,667 words in a day that fits into the structure of a novel is a challenge. To do it day after day after day after day is a phenomenal challenge. I have been keeping up, but after this weekend, the strain of keeping up each day became overwhelming and I finally gave myself permission today to take a day off. Sacred Sunday came and Sacred Sunday went, and I did what I do every day---write, write, write, write, write. I truly enjoy it, but I'm realizing that as part of my process I must build in breaks, time off, stress relief.



In addition, LoveHubbie was home all weekend. He normally works seven days a week, so it was a pattern break for both of us to have him home. And a monster challenge to keep up with my words each day. I felt like all weekend long I fought for writing time, fought to stay with my novel, while at the same time bearing with interruptions and still taking care of LoveHubbie, as well as planning in some LoveHubbie types of fun since things so seldom work out that he has time off. I woke up this morning tired and barren, my creative well bone dry. I knew that I had nothing to write from today and needed to feed my soul.

Thus today so far has involved doing some collage, getting caught up on the computer with you all--my supportive community, and eating a meal slowly. It will soon involve reading spiritual books and a quiet time and some exercise. All of these activities done slowly and without time pressure help me to pull myself together, and to feel like I have something in place to write from.



I clearly would be better off building this into my writing process. I will be exploring ways of doing this. I don't have any clear ideas. I can't imagine how people with children and full time jobs manage NaNoWriMo, and admire them for even attempting it!

In my writing process, I wake up each day (seven days a week) and begin writing right away. I enter at least 1667 words into my AlphaSmart Neo (named Kaiolohia), usually more, so that I can get to a good stopping place. Then I upload the words from Kaiolohia to a Word file and print it out. I edit it, and expand upon sections where I can. Then I print out a final copy and fit it into my existing manuscript. I have just over 30,000 words, which is something like 90 pages or so. I totally love doing this.

I know now that I'll continue doing this after NaNoWriMo, just not so intensely. Maybe I'll limit myself to two hours a day. Or just mornings M-F. But right now is the learning time, when I'm figuring out how I work and what I need in all of this. NaNoWriMo's founder, Chris Baty, has said to never take off more than one day in a row. I'm finding that I need to listen to my body and my creative spirit, since I tend to lean the other way, towards overdoing.



I've been thinking about perfectionism, too. I've been delaying perfectionism with this book, knowing that I'll have a chance to work towards a better draft later. It makes for a much more productive day. I love working with the AlphaSmart Neo, and want to keep this up. It is too hard to go back and make everything "just so" when you have a screen size a little larger than a calculator. I hope to always use it for writing.

I read at some point over the last week about "positive perfectionism" and "negative perfectionism". Negative perfectionism is trying to be perfect because we need approval, especially our own approval, and can't be without it. It feels like a burden. Positive perfectionism is continually improving and learning in the interests of mastery, and is joy-filled. I like this distinction. I am learning how to discriminate between the two.

The best thing about NaNoWriMo so far is that it has taught me that I love to write. This has been the greatest NaNoWriMo gift, although there are many after just 12 days!

I want to finish my first draft this month. The draft has to have the plot structure included--the beginning, middle and end. I plan to expand on it for three more months; it should double in length. And then take it to Hawaii in March and add special details to it while I'm there (my novel takes place in part in Hawaii). I think I can finish up in the spring. This is my work, and my joy!



To fully enjoy my work, I have to take at least a weekly sabbath, and I have to do more with my life than just write. I need time to renew and time to exercise, time to think and create. I don't mind at all just doing that and limiting my social activities, because secretly, just between you and me, doing so is a real treat for me, and a productivity booster for my writing.

I also want to get more serious about creating a Complaint-Free world. I've been just diddling with it, and it shows. I'm slowly becoming more aware, but not getting results anything like the people who are committed. I find that I need to be centered and grounded and live at a slower pace to do a good job with this.

Well, I'm off to continue my Monday sabbath. We're having a big storm here and it looks like there's a break in the action so that I can Nordic Walk. I enjoy being available for those weather breaks and darting out between the downpours to breath in the fresh northwest air, and the moist smells of the forest.

~Pictures by LoveHubbie, alteration by Me

BE BRAVE: Day 12: Shuffling...Leaping...Shuffling

BE BRAVE, otherwise known as "Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You", is the title of the month-long project inspired by Jessie. I am participating daily for a month. Today is Day 12.

Today, empowered by eight hours of sleep and a clear mind and body (!!!), I made my first video review for Amazon. This was so scary, because you know the level of my video skills, the state of my roots (as in hair roots), and probably how much of a big deal this was for me. I hadn't ever seen a video review before, so I didn't really know what to do, but on the other hand, it was an opportunity to be creative.

I picked a controversial book, "Good Calories, Bad Calories", by Gary Taubes. It was the best book I've ever read about health or nutrition, but it was a hard book to read and to review, because it was very research-based. Plus it ends up that a historical view of the sound research done in this area, as well as current research being done, counters a lot of the conventional wisdom (as in ADA and AHA) about obesity, diet, and weight control. I wanted to write an incredible review, but by the time I finished it (it was a slow read) a few people had already done that, so my review would not stand out to the degree I wanted it to, or solicit enough helpful votes. So...I thought "I'll really jump over the waterfall and use it for the first video review I've ever seen on Amazon!"

Doing the video was challenging, fun, and nail-biting at times. It took the whole afternoon. I still can't believe I did it.

I'm moving in the direction of my dreams, albeit shuffling...yes, then leaping...then shuffling on some more.



~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

Creative For A Month 9th & 10th Day

Yesterday I finished my last unfinished collage from the spring, called "Opening". This is what it looked like before, here to the left.

This is what it looks like finished!


So now I'm ready for something new.

I've also been writing daily, although I have yet to set regular writing hours. It is easier and easier to make art and to write, a welcome change. Now, though, I am ready to explore new ways of being creative...kind of branch out.

I hurt my foot (again) in some weird way that makes it almost impossible for me to walk, and in addition I feel pretty withdrawn, like sleeping and curling up with books and being waited on hand and foot by a love genie. Unfortunately LoveHubbie doesn't do sick too well and is not a happy love genie, especially today.

On top of it all I lost my "Could Do List" (euphemism for "To Do" List that doesn't fool anyone---let alone me) and my Daily Habits Sheet when I was out yesterday. This could be a good thing.

So here I am, kind of stuck trying to figure out how to get through the weekend in SO MUCH PAIN (until Monday when my doctor's office reopens)...seems like the perfect time to use what is going on with me (remembering Leah's migraine) and to look for new ways to be creative, especially while turbo-incubating (since that's what I feel like doing anyway).




~Pictures by Me

My New Blog Header

Do you like my beautiful new blog header? It was designed by artist extraordinaire Karen Smithey from Art in the Garage! The reason it is askew is due to me---I was unable to install it in Blogger; you really have to tweak the HTML template all over the place, which is beyond my level of expertise. Karen is going to fix that up for me too :)

Karen made each of the "Happy Luau" letters out of pictures from my web site that have sweet memories for me. I wasn't sure what I wanted, so she came up with this creative idea, and I love it! It took a boring Blogger template and made it into something truly special.

She also designed a favicon for me of a palm tree that I am equally delighted with.

Thank you, Karen!

Creative Moments

What readers have helped me with so far (see yesterday's post) is the idea of taking what time is available, even if it's just a few moments or minutes, and to use that to create. To dedicate some time daily to creative pursuits and to watch what happens. This is a perfect technique for me to try now.

Come the fall, I want to be caught up on my personal affairs, work, and projects enough to be able to devote several hours each morning and immerse myself in creative activities, primarily writing. I have read Walter Mosley's article in this month's O Magazine, entitled "This Year You Write Your Novel" (from his book with the same title), and wanted to share an excerpt that impacted me profoundly:

"The most important thing I've found about writing is that it is primarily an unconscious activity. What do I mean by this? I mean that a novel is larger than your head (or unconscious mind). The connections, moods, metaphors, and experiences that you call up while writing will come from a place deep inside you. Sometimes you will wonder who wrote those words. Sometimes you will be swept up by a fevered passion relating a convoluted journey through your protagonist's ragged heart. These moments are when you have connected to some deep place within you, a place that harbors the zeal that made you want to write to begin with.

The way you get to this unconscious place is by writing every day. Or not even writing. Some days you may be rewriting, rereading, or just sitting there scrolling back and forth through the text. This enough to bring you back into the dream of your story.

What, you ask, is the dream of a story? This is a mood and a continent of thought below your conscious mind---a place that you get closer to with each foray into the words and worlds of your novel.

You may have spent only an hour and a half working on the book, but the rest of the day will be rife with motive moments in your unconsciousness---moments in your mind, which will be mulling over the places your words have touched. While you sleep, mountains are moving deep within your psyche. When you wake up and return to the book, you will be amazed by the realization that you are further along than when you left off yesterday.

If you skip a day or more between your writing sessions, you mind will drift away from these deep moments of your story. You will find that you'll have to slog back to a place that would have been easily attained if only you wrote every day. "

This is what I want to do in the fall. Whether or not I ever finish my novel, whether or not it is ever published, I know I want to experience this---this inhabiting of the dream of my story, and moving in it, of writing from it. Walter Mosley writes three hours per day, which is what I would like to do this fall.

However, for now, with the time constraints I've chosen, I want to begin by having creative times even as moments! And having some creative time every day.