Sacred Life Sunday: Giving

I have found my life profoundly impacted by asking, "What can I give?" sometimes instead of "What do I want?" lately. For example, I have been thinking that if I had normal energy like normal folks then I could have a normal life. Do a lot more than I did before. But what would I do? Would it be what I'm doing now? Or something else, something more? I still don't know the answer to this, but thinking about it, fantasizing about it, is fun.

See, there is a good chance that when I get over this energy slump, I may find a "new normal" of far enhanced energy. I do think that I've been in a menopausal slide that has gone on for many years but just recently got to the point where it kept me from being functional. So if I solve the problem at it's root, my life could be different, though exactly in what ways I'm not sure because I'm not there yet.

If I think "What do I want?" I kind of get lost, because I already have many of the things and experiences I want...I like my life the way it is in so many ways, and I don't really have a lot of wants--besides better health, of course. In my group "12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women", we had a chapter called "Following Your Fascinations" and I struggled to identify my fascinations that would be reflected in my daily work--specifically in what I'd earn money from doing.

But if I ask, "What can I give?" I can generate far more ideas, not just related to work, but to my daily life. Contemplating this question gets my creative juices flowing.

I applied this to another area of my life today. I am participating in Kristine's "The Husband Project" over at Notes From the Laundromat. It is based on the book with the same name. I wasn't going to do it but then just changed my mind a couple of days ago. But I've been coming up empty with the exercises. LoveHubbie is a workaholic and makes very little time available for anything else. Lots of times with him I think "What do I want?" and can think of lots and lots of things...but then tonight, when once again I was unable to complete the exercise due to his unwillingness to participate, I thought, "Ok, so what can I give?" and finally tonight I had a small success. I have been learning to do Lomi Lomi massage and I practiced on LoveHubbie in our new "massage area" of the bedroom. See the picture below:




I think it looks very inviting!

The picture on the wall is hard to see, but it is an ahupua'a, a pie-shaped area of a Hawaiian island ruled by a chief and entirely self-sufficient at each level of elevation. The people at the shoreline fish, as you go up the mountain people grow taro, and higher up hunt, etc. Everyone shares and trades. Everyone has enough.

So anyway, I don't want to do this professionally or officially or anything, just to grasp the idea of the spiritual side of Lomi Lomi and to practice some techniques casually with LoveHubbie as a way of creating more positive energy and more aloha in my life. It makes me feel closer to Hawaii. And of course, LoveHubbie will benefit in lots of r&r--nightly I hope!

And I am going to keep on churning the idea of "giving" and especially of "legacy" around. At my age, legacy becomes even more important, and this powerful question, "What can I give?" fuels big ideas. It also resonates with my theme for the year of "JUMP!".

We shall see where this leads!

12 Secrets Week 4: Surrendering to Your Creative Cycles

I just finished reading the chapter for this week on surrendering to our creative cycles. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is this journey getting deep and intense or what?

It pulls together Jessie's post on letting go and Suzie's post on listening to our body cycles and my post on trusting ourselves.

Yes, yes, and yes. Just trust the Universe. We are where we should be. Everything is going to be okay.

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

12 Secrets Week 3: Following Your Fascinations

First of all, I just love The Vault. It is exciting and encouraging to me to see that we all have little self-doubt gremlins whispering in our ears, mostly the same things! I like too that it gets dumped every week.

Secondly, it is really exciting for me to read about and see women courageous enough to make so-called "mistakes" and then just keep right on going. Let's face it, lots of people share their successes, which are indeed inspiring. But to share your mistakes and then to work to turn them into something that does fit in a beautiful way---that's even more inspiring to me. Like this beautiful example of Kim's work; if you are an artist, do not miss it. Or Suzie's move across the country. This inspires me.

After reading chapter three, I liked the examples of the women following their fascinations. I thought they were cool. For them, not for me. I don't know that I have fascinations. I'm like Janet (page 54) who wants to "read books, take walks, and watch college basketball". Well, I'd watch college basketball if I had time. It sounds like lots of fun. When Barbara Sher wrote,

"The good life is when you get up in the morning and can't wait to start all over again,"

I thought,

"Really? Does anyone really, truly, feel this way? I want to. I absolutely do feel this way in Hawaii when I'm on vacation. But then...who wouldn't?"

The truth is, a good day for me is when I get done more tasks than were added by the day; in other words, when I'm not more behind than I was when I woke up.

Most of the time, my day rushes in before I've gotten out of bed, and I'm filled with the physical pain of getting up (physical illnesses and aches and pains or God forbid a migraine), the dread of the day (can I get it all done? how far behind am I?), and wondering when or if I'll get a break to do something I enjoy. And I don't hate what I do---it's just work. I've never done work that made me want to do it again the next day or would make me sorry that I had a day off or even sorry that I had a sick day. I've had lots and lots of jobs, done a variety of things I enjoy, but when you turn them into something that needs to be done at a certain time on a certain day, begin to stack them next to each other, and then bring in the money component, anything loses its attraction for me. I would give a lot to feel like Barbara Sher. That sounds amazing. Truly amazing.

So what do you think? I wonder if I just haven't discovered any fascinations...I'm 51 years old, so when will this happen? Or is Barbara Sher experiencing something that is more idealistic than not?

These are waterfalls seen over the street cables on Kauai.

~Photo of gremlin from fearthebeard.org

~Photos from Hawaii by LoveHubbie Mark

12 Secrets Starts

Today the book club blogging group "Next Chapter" officially started and I began reading the book for the upcoming season, "12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women" by Gail McMeekin.

I just read the introduction, but it got me so fired up again. I'd read this book several years ago, promising myself I'd read it regularly, but then forgot. Now is the perfect time to reread it, it turns out.

Check out the group website, which is hosted by Jamie Ridler, if you'd like to join! The first interview for the club is posted there as well, that of the wonderful Jennifer Lee of Artizen Coaching and the Life Unfolds blog. Wonderful, wonderful. I'm so happy to be in this group just now.

12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women

I am beginning a new blogging group on January 9th called "Next Chapter", and the book for the upcoming season is, "12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women" by Gail McMeekin. This is one of my favorite books, one I promised myself I'd read annually but never have...so I'm very excited to have the opportunity to reread it in community. Checkout the group website, which is hosted by Jamie Ridler, if you'd like to join!