Sunday, September 30, 2007

BE BRAVE: Day 3: Standing Up

BE BRAVE, otherwise known as "Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You", is the title of the month-long project inspired by Jessie.

Today I stood up for myself. I was explaining to someone about what I'd learned from the key fob incident, and they said, "You don't deserve to have a key fob like that---no one does. You can buy really cheap key fobs, so no one should spend that much money on one." This person is very frugal, and also doesn't understand the concept of being good to oneself. So I said (but more importantly, believed), "I deserved that key fob" and meant it. And left it there, not defending or justifying it, as I would have in the past. I knew I wanted it, and deserved it, and that was enough.

This is a much harder project than any I've done before. So far it isn't much fun. The steps feel too small, like they are all baby steps. The big steps feel like I've distanced myself from them for so long, either because they are overwhelming or because I'm just too afraid. I'm living a complacent life far away from most of the steps because...because I'm just too afraid. However, I trust that this will be SO good for me, especially the intensity, which for me is going to be necessary to really break through, I'm thinking. With a slower pace I'd be able to avoid too much.

So, onward I go.

~Picture by LoveHubbie Mark


Leah said...

standing up for yourself is huge!!! don't discount your risk-taking here. a journey is made up of baby steps!

Olivia said...

Thanks for your support, Leah, as always :) Ok, I will do it!!

Angela said...

Bravo for you! I'm thinking that person probably has a very tight *ssh*le. :) Beautiful, beautiful picture. Those colors just send me.

Karen said...

Yay for you! I'm going to join in on DOTEDSY, too. It will be good for me!

Olivia said...

Yes, Angela, and thank you. I agree about that person's *ssh*le :)

That picture is of a silversword plant in bloom on the top of Haleakela crater in Maui. It is a very, very rare plant and I believe that this is the only place it grows!

Olivia said...

Oh, Karen, I've missed you, and it will be good to have you on board. I know that you've probably had a great time with your friend. Get ready, because it's DOTEDTSY is not's a real trip but a good one!

Jessie said...

i have to agree that a slower pace allows us to avoid too much. i mean, sometimes we need that sense of gentleness and peace in our lives. but, holy sh*#!, things are getting pretty wild around here! and i have a feeling that all of this wildness is going to result in something that i have been wishing and waiting for, for a long time now.

i am enjoying catching up on your blog so much, olivia. i'm sorry it took me so long to get here--but i've been so busy scaring myself that i have had very little time for much else! :)-

thank you for being so absolutely wonderful and inspiring!

Olivia said...

Oh, Jessie, I understand about the scary stuff. I have read your blog daily for inspiration but have been lax on commenting.

I totally agree with you that the wildness---the intensity---will push past some type of barrier that we have erected that keeps us from our dreams. The TRICK is keeping our sanity, in my case keeping my anxiety and depression under control, and knowing how fast and how furious to pace ourselves. I believe I'll be able to do this.

What a ride!

Thank you again for setting this up. Thanks for the support and scknowledgement...Much, Much love to you, O