Saturday, January 24, 2009

12 Secrets Week 3: Following Your Fascinations

First of all, I just love The Vault. It is exciting and encouraging to me to see that we all have little self-doubt gremlins whispering in our ears, mostly the same things! I like too that it gets dumped every week.

Secondly, it is really exciting for me to read about and see women courageous enough to make so-called "mistakes" and then just keep right on going. Let's face it, lots of people share their successes, which are indeed inspiring. But to share your mistakes and then to work to turn them into something that does fit in a beautiful way---that's even more inspiring to me. Like this beautiful example of Kim's work; if you are an artist, do not miss it. Or Suzie's move across the country. This inspires me.

After reading chapter three, I liked the examples of the women following their fascinations. I thought they were cool. For them, not for me. I don't know that I have fascinations. I'm like Janet (page 54) who wants to "read books, take walks, and watch college basketball". Well, I'd watch college basketball if I had time. It sounds like lots of fun. When Barbara Sher wrote,
"The good life is when you get up in the morning and can't wait to start all over again,"

I thought,

"Really? Does anyone really, truly, feel this way? I want to. I absolutely do feel this way in Hawaii when I'm on vacation. But then...who wouldn't?"

The truth is, a good day for me is when I get done more tasks than were added by the day; in other words, when I'm not more behind than I was when I woke up.

Most of the time, my day rushes in before I've gotten out of bed, and I'm filled with the physical pain of getting up (physical illnesses and aches and pains or God forbid a migraine), the dread of the day (can I get it all done? how far behind am I?), and wondering when or if I'll get a break to do something I enjoy. And I don't hate what I do---it's just work. I've never done work that made me want to do it again the next day or would make me sorry that I had a day off or even sorry that I had a sick day. I've had lots and lots of jobs, done a variety of things I enjoy, but when you turn them into something that needs to be done at a certain time on a certain day, begin to stack them next to each other, and then bring in the money component, anything loses its attraction for me. I would give a lot to feel like Barbara Sher. That sounds amazing. Truly amazing.

So what do you think? I wonder if I just haven't discovered any fascinations...I'm 51 years old, so when will this happen? Or is Barbara Sher experiencing something that is more idealistic than not?

These are waterfalls seen over the street cables on Kauai.

~Photo of gremlin from

~Photos from Hawaii by LoveHubbie Mark


Sacred Suzie said...

A powerful post! And an important question. It's true, what about those of us who still don't know what it is we want to do? I still feel that way. Like I'm on this vague creative path with no particular destination. Joy isn't something I experience very often and well pain...pain gets in the way it's true.

I think your fabulous vacation picture may have the key somehow. Not everyone is drawn to a place like Hawaii. I wonder what it is about that place (other than the obvious, LOL) that made you happy?

Thanks for the link, I'm glad my post helped inspire you. It was a tough one to right and thank you also for the reminder that I can always choose again. That rocks!

Kavindra said...

Well I think Suzie just said most of what I was going to say! But yeah, let me reiterate, the look on your face in that photo tells you something ... your blog name and header ... (I for one don't care for hawaii so it's not just something in the human genes, it's a clue to your passion!)
That said, I do empathize. I feel lost sometimes because I don't have a clear cut path either. We'll just have to keep digging together ;)

Genie Sea said...

May you find the bliss you visibly had in Hawaii, every single day of your life.

Yes, there are stops and starts, days when you want to curl up into a ball and cry "Give!", but then the bliss comes and erases it all. :)

May you find that bliss. :)

Kate said...


Before I read anyones's comments I thought Oh your fascination is Hawaii..

I have had those moments where I couldn't wait to start again the next day so they do exist.


Olivia said...


You wrote: "Like I'm on this vague creative path with no particular destination." This is exactly how I feel! I know that I love being creative, and I want to keep on going in this direction, but with no strong goal in mind.

That is so interesting that you (and other commenters) have seen something that I missed---my great love for Hawaii. It is not just the paradise-like environment, but the culture, the spirituality, the history---everything. I feel as though I have a Hawaiian soul. I am truly fascinated by and passionate about Hawaii.

You did indeed inspire me, Suzie. I am glad to have come to know you via the 12 Secrets project!

Peace and rest and joy,


Olivia said...

Kavindra, You are so right...It is interesting to see what a newcomer to my blog thinks, too, not knowing me well at all. It is kind of embarrassing that I didn't think of Hawaii, but I didn't.

Sometimes, I think that the Universe takes us just as far as we need to know at the time. Sort of like...we need to know and learn certain lessons before we are ready for the next ones. Perhaps we would shrink from the end goal if we knew it? I don't know.

We just can keep moving forward, yes!

Welcome to the happyluau :)



Olivia said...

Thank you for your encouragement, Genie Sea. And for commenting.

I do want to find that bliss...and you're right, I did indeed have bliss in Hawaii (and always do).

Aloha and welcome,


Olivia said...


That's so interesting. Everybody but me saw this. That's one reason (among too numerous to count) that I appreciate you gals and guys so much. And you didn't even really have to think!

It's good to know that you've experienced days like that. You seem to be a very even-keeled person. I am seeing a doctor in Feb for bio-identical hormones (I take them now but am not being monitored by any medical professional) as I think that there could be physical issues that are so strongly affecting my mood.

Aloha and mahalo (thank you),


patti said...

And sometimes it's our mind that affects our bodies. (I have arthritis that becomes worse if I am unhappy) I believe that your creative path would become evident if you were in your happy place (Hawaii) then your mind and body would follow. As Suzie has shared with us, being in the wrong place can have a big impact on our lives. I know I cannot live creatively when I am unhappy either.

It's also a little like asthmatics moving to the mountains so they can breathe better. Maybe your ill health at home/happiness in Hawaii is actually a sign pointing you to a sunny place where you can 'breathe' more easily.

Your face in the photo says it all!

traveler one said...

Wow! There is so much treasure in the comments! I'm glad I take the week to go through as many of the blogs as I can.
Kim H

Olivia said...


Yes, indeed. Both are one, really. I know that place is so important to me. I think you could be right about learning my creative path while in Hawaii. I always have lots of spiritual growth while there, and focusing on direction could be very helpful.

It is amazing to me how you all are seeing this...and I missed it :)

Thanks, Patti, as always,


Olivia said...

Kim H,

Welcome to the happyluau! You are so right, there is SO much in the comments...on all our websites, really. That's where the discussion takes place and the relationships are forged. Thanks for being a part of it here,



Belle said...

I've had those days where I wake up so excited and happy to begin the day again - and reading your post I am realizing that I haven't really been feeling that way for a while now. Too much work, I think. Maybe balance is more of an important word for me this year than I had thought. But those days do happen - I love that they happened for you in Hawaii! I get those "wouldn't it be lovely" thoughts just thinking about it.

Olivia said...

Welcome to the happyluau, Belle! I hope you have those days soon, too---I hope we both do. Aloha, O

Jessie said...

The tricky part is making it from the bed and into the morning without letting the day get plundered by to-do lists. ee-gads. I am still trying to figure that one out.

btw, I think you have lots of fascinations. You have shared so many of them on this blog. You are a learner, a journeyer, a discoverer. The trick is allowing fascinations and $$ to become friends. ;)

Olivia said...

Yes, indeed, Jessie.

I wish I were as aware of my fascinations as are others. Hawaii was a surprise for me, really! I think some of this will evolve over time.

You have successfully done this, Jessie :)