Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sacred Life Sunday: Jump! Into the New Year!
I chose the word "Jump!" as my word for 2009. It reminds me of when I was ten years old, standing on the high dive at Richardson Pool in Schofield Barracks in Hawaii. I had so much resistance and inner struggle to just noticing the fear, not letting it stop me, and then jumping off. I remember the other kids in my class and my swim coach yelling, "Jump!", "Jump!" and I wanted to, so much. The desire was intense, but so was the fear. Finally I did what I wanted to and jumped off. Ther terror didn't end until everything was over. It was there during the fall. It was there when I hit the water. It was there until I came up for air, knowing everything was over.
"Jump!" seems very different from "leap" to me. "Leap" sounds like you're at a certain point, and you throw yourself up and forward through the air. "Jump" is, for me, more passive. It involves simply noticing my fear, making that fear irrelevant to my actions, and then stepping off anyway, surrendering to what I can't control. Not only the stepping off', but the surrendering, too, involves deep fear, but they do not stop me.
This year, I want to "Jump!" and do things that I truly want to do---but that involve risk and the unknown and that scare me.
"Jump!" means implementing a "Be Brave" strategy all year long, long enough for "Be Brave" to become a lifestyle, not just a special project.
"Jump!" means allowing myself to succeed despite my enormous resistance to success.
"Jump!" means letting go of old security blankets, including old, outdated ways of thinking and believing.
"Jump!" means not knowing and moving forward in the direction I know to go, trusting that I am in God's hand. Trusting that the Universe is good and safe.
"Jump!" means taking the focus off of LoveHubbie and putting it on myself.
"Jump!" means learning, doing, and being, not merely watching and cheerleading.
"Jump!" means creating the lifestyle I want, freeing up my time, freeing up my space.
"Jump!" means allowing myself to have the things I never thought I could have and be the person I never thought I could be.
~Photos by LoveHubbie Mark