Thursday, January 29, 2009
I've been thinking about Heather's video that I posted yesterday. How could it not haunt you...has it? It has haunted me.
As I've watched it each time, I've thought about fearlessness, fear, bravery, and my JUMP! word for 2009. I've constrasted my JUMP! with Kelly's gentle experimenting and been a little envious, causing me to wonder if I've picked the right word. My JUMP! feels too forced and contrived and driven and pushy to describe the process I've been going through and plan to continue for 2009. I take small steps, but regular steps. Nothing earth-shattering, but when I look back for even a few days I feel as though I've moved forward. It doesn't sound like JUMP!-ing, though, does it?
I've always thought that it's best to JUMP! However, sometimes it's good to...the only word I can think of is "accretion". Yes, accretion. It's not intense or sexy. It's gentle, like Kelly's "experiment". But each day, day by day, I've been learning just a little, and building on the day before. And most importantly, persevering. It's a quiet growing, and a slow sure way of building the kind of life I want.
I want to be a JUMP!-er but I think I'm an accretion-ist.
I went on a walk today with Nordic poles for mobility assistance because of my knees and it was a great thing; for once the sun was shining here and I was healthy enough and had the time to get out of doors and move a bit, so move I did. Just a bit. But it was a challenge because of my knee injury. I used my upper body a lot with the poles for support and to take the pressure off of my knees. I was tempted to feel badly because I used to use the poles for fitness and now I'm lucky to just get down and back once on the driveway. But I am. Lucky. Blessed to be able to move. Even once up and down the driveway.
I'm not sure yet about changing my word. We'll see.