Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Wellness Wednesday: Staying Brave
Staying Brave seems to be my biggest challenge lately. I find myself doing hard things each day that I really can't believe I'm doing...I feel like I'm pushing through sludge to continue to BE BRAVE. Today I had so many challenges I felt completely overwhelmed by the day, and so to procrastinate and relax, I began to get caught up on posts from the last three days:
Kelly, who is continuing to breathe and having amazing successes (this is what I aspire to). Kelly is my Trailblazer!
Annie, who is struggling, but overall succeeding with goals that have eluded her before, and is always real.
Angela, who is facing an operation and is dealing with fear and worry. I can always count on Angela to be unflinchingly honest. She helps me to be honest with myself about my panic over much lesser things.
Jessie, who is anticipating big changes, and moving into them slowly, needing to be patient, but right on the verge of everything!
Each one of you helps me to ground and center and believe that somehow I can meet the challenges of my day. I struggle with believing in myself and with making things hard that are actually easy. I struggle with overwhelm every single day.
This week I:
Had my retinas checked (I do this every two years because of a past retinal detachment) and couldn't use the computer or read for two days. My eyes hurt and I had headaches. My eyes are fine overall, but I'm on the verge of developing a few different types of eye problems (my ophthalmologist says) so I need to up my antioxidants (I say). So I'm worrying about my eyes.
Visited my podiatrist and found out that I now need special orthotics that aren't covered by insurance. As I get over one type of foot pain, I develop another, and still have trouble with basic walking. So I'm worrying about my feet.
I need to buy a Fortune 500 suit for work (somewhere, in a plus size) and find dress shoes somewhere that accommodate orthotics and come in a size 9 E (wide as in duck feet). So I'm worrying about my clothes.
I've had my passport denied and need to come up with all kinds of documentation because of multiple name changes. This could be a week long project of letter writing but I don't have time for it. So I'm worrying about my passport.
Oh, and today I need to write up my contracts for my new job. I've never written a contract before. This is probably the easiest thing, though, of all of the above. But still, I'm worrying about my contracts.
Do you ever feel like life is just pouring in the challenges and before you can figure out one...poof!...there's another one for you to solve?
Instead of all this worrying, I need to breathe. Just breathe. And stay brave. And do one thing at a time. Not rush myself. Not push myself. Not destroy my health with overwork and striving. Just trust the Universe to give me the experiences I need at the time I need them and trust that I will get everything done in good time. That my body can, with rest and nurturing, hold up to the challenges I have before me.
Ok, I'm inspired by you all, and I'll do this today, this Wellness Wednesday.