Monday, February 11, 2008
Tagging sensations---translating bodily sensations into emotions---is a skill, an emotional practice. I've trained myself and received formal training as well in doing this for others via graduate school in counseling and a post-graduate certificate in life coaching. However, having a personal emotional practice in identifying and dealing with my feelings is something that I've trained myself for half a century not to do:
Early years of being physically beaten and verbally battered as a child and trying to deny and/or forget my feelings
So that I could survive and be able to love my parents even at the cost of distrusting myself and my feelings.
Years of schooling and working jobs while ignoring any feelings I might have
So that I could be productive and achieve, achieve, achieve...
Years spent in a fundamentalist religion and training myself to overcome any and all feelings
So that I could better serve God.
Eons spent in unhealthy marriages valuing the longevity of the marriage over my own needs and desires
So that I could successfully avoid divorce...
I've been married three times.
It's pretty amazing to realize this. In an odd way, I'm appreciative of my weight problem and emotional eating struggles which negatively affect my health, forcing me to develop a healthy emotional practice now. It is apparently only now that I am old enough, strong enough, mature enough, strong enough, and safe enough to do this. I am grateful!
~Pictures by LoveHubbie Mark