Seasons Come to Me

"My life is fruitful and abundant. Just as the earth has its cycles and seasons, so, too, our own lives have times of planting, times of growth and times of harvest. So much of my frustration comes from my refusal to accept life's seasons as they come to me. An adolescent child enters a period of rebellion. This is necessary to full maturation. A project at the midpoint is sprawling and unwieldy. This, too, is necessary. A marriage enters a time of solo growth and trajectories as each partner pursues independent interests. However unsettling, this, too, is healthy. Not all seasons lie serene in the sun, yet each has its place. As I ask to be attuned to life's cycles, I feel my anxiety slipping away. I rest in the faith that all is unfolding according to right timing. I am where I should be when I should be. I am alert to the good of every moment...Today, I accept divine timing. I allow the pacing of the Universe to be my own. I align myself with the tempo of my life precisely as it is unfolding."---Julia Cameron, in "Transitions: Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life"

I am in a season of transition. The only way to get through without anxiety taking over is to trust that this is a season for me to learn many things, and that the Universe is benevolent and in control.

I have been in a challenging situation at work. My challenge right now is to decide to trust my and Hubbie's values and principles and act upon them...or...to give in to fear and greed. I have always been fearful---Hannah Hurnard's "Much Afraid" as I've gone through life. However, I've never thought of myself as a greedy person---ever---and yet here when I am faced with something monetarily important to me (our livelihood) it is "a dilemma" to me to act in a way that would be crystal clear if it involved anything or anyone else. Hubbie has more courage than I do here. He doesn't do the principles versus money thing (because he is so strongly principled), and for that I admire him. So I did the struggle thing, and of course, of course, come out on the side of principle. But because of the struggle, and because it's hard, I'd expect better from myself. I sort of surprised myself and have learned a lot.

So (and here's my self-talk for the day), I relax today, and let life's cycles take over, without trying to manage and control them. I allow things to unfold as they will. I let it be easy. I trust the Universe and I trust Hubbie. I keep myself open to the good that will come my way if I will just allow instead of trying to force. I trust in the fruitfulness and abundance of life.

~Picture by Hubbie Mark, who would rather see this iris right-side up than sideways. I love it sideways more.