I have found my life profoundly impacted by asking, "What can I give?" sometimes instead of "What do I want?" lately. For example, I have been thinking that if I had normal energy like normal folks then I could have a normal life. Do a lot more than I did before. But what would I do? Would it be what I'm doing now? Or something else, something more? I still don't know the answer to this, but thinking about it, fantasizing about it, is fun.
See, there is a good chance that when I get over this energy slump, I may find a "new normal" of far enhanced energy. I do think that I've been in a menopausal slide that has gone on for many years but just recently got to the point where it kept me from being functional. So if I solve the problem at it's root, my life could be different, though exactly in what ways I'm not sure because I'm not there yet.
If I think "What do I want?" I kind of get lost, because I already have many of the things and experiences I want...I like my life the way it is in so many ways, and I don't really have a lot of wants--besides better health, of course. In my group "12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women", we had a chapter called "Following Your Fascinations" and I struggled to identify my fascinations that would be reflected in my daily work--specifically in what I'd earn money from doing.
But if I ask, "What can I give?" I can generate far more ideas, not just related to work, but to my daily life. Contemplating this question gets my creative juices flowing.
I applied this to another area of my life today. I am participating in Kristine's "The Husband Project" over at Notes From the Laundromat. It is based on the book with the same name. I wasn't going to do it but then just changed my mind a couple of days ago. But I've been coming up empty with the exercises. LoveHubbie is a workaholic and makes very little time available for anything else. Lots of times with him I think "What do I want?" and can think of lots and lots of things...but then tonight, when once again I was unable to complete the exercise due to his unwillingness to participate, I thought, "Ok, so what can I give?" and finally tonight I had a small success. I have been learning to do Lomi Lomi massage and I practiced on LoveHubbie in our new "massage area" of the bedroom. See the picture below:
I think it looks very inviting!
The picture on the wall is hard to see, but it is an ahupua'a, a pie-shaped area of a Hawaiian island ruled by a chief and entirely self-sufficient at each level of elevation. The people at the shoreline fish, as you go up the mountain people grow taro, and higher up hunt, etc. Everyone shares and trades. Everyone has enough.
So anyway, I don't want to do this professionally or officially or anything, just to grasp the idea of the spiritual side of Lomi Lomi and to practice some techniques casually with LoveHubbie as a way of creating more positive energy and more aloha in my life. It makes me feel closer to Hawaii. And of course, LoveHubbie will benefit in lots of r&r--nightly I hope!
And I am going to keep on churning the idea of "giving" and especially of "legacy" around. At my age, legacy becomes even more important, and this powerful question, "What can I give?" fuels big ideas. It also resonates with my theme for the year of "JUMP!".
We shall see where this leads!