Monday, January 7, 2008

Winter Squash, Phat Girlz, The Now Habit & More

I've found myself still recovering from the holiday malaise. Today is the first day I've really felt like myself---with ideas, feelings of creativity, inspiration, etc.---waking up at 4am this morning ready to begin the day. I've sort of felt like a winter squash before this. I don't know how else to explain it. Here in the Pacific Northwest it's been raining every day for countless days on end. And it's been cold, too. This all contributed to my holiday malaise and lethargy, lingering and melding with feelings of depression and SAD (seasonal affective disorder).

I felt a little better on Saturday, perky enough to shop for food all over the South Sound, from Costco to Trader Joe's to our local supermarket. When you can eat anything you want (with TWL) it really helps to have a selection of good things to eat! Then yesterday, I vlogged at last (and although my vlog seemed tired and strained to me---at least I did it). I missed communicating with all of you. Also yesterday, LoveHubbie returned from a trip with Lovely Stepdaughter. I find myself coming out of my reading and arting shell of hibernation and retreat, to my delight.

I've been loving TWL (Transformational Weight Loss)...however, it is quite a challenge to learn self-acceptance at a much higher weight than I'm used to. It's good for me, though, and all a part of this process. Last night I watched the movie Phat Girlz, which is a manifesto for plus-sized women and ambitiously portrays the struggle we larger women go through for self-acceptance in our American culture that tolerates and even encourages prejudice based on size. I wish I could convey in words the usefulness and the beneficial difficulty of this TWL journey. I keep trying to remember to breathe...just breathe...just breathe.... For some reason, lately I keep forgetting, and get spun up into the drama and form of the day's events...I hope to be more grounded. I'm blaming it on my hormones for now...because it's a convenient way of avoiding responsibility, I suppose...the mature woman's PMS.

This weekend I read a book recommended by someone here (I can't remember who) called "The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play" by Neil Fiore, which I SO needed. I haven't been a procrastinator in the past, but since NaNoWriMo's success, I've been procrastinating with my novel...all December long, which didn't help the holiday malaise much. This book gave me a useful strategy for beginning to write again and for overcoming my fears. It is useful for dealing with resistance and for bringing joy back into tasks that have become onerous. I'm most excited about this for the new year!

This week I expect to be filled with pattern-breaking fun of spending time with Lovely Stepdaughter and with LoveHubbie coming home from work early---a great combination.

Today I'm grateful for the ordinariness of my life. I so much prefer this to the chaos and drama that I seemed to attract so much in the past. Today I am wishing those of you dealing with difficult and turbulent challenges peace and the hope of an ordinary and mundane and peaceful and happy extraordinary life---soon. Blessings to each one of you today, and ordinary miracles!


Kate said...


Glad to see you back, I wondered why you had not been posting much. I haven't written anything since Nov 30. I think its hard getting back in the groove. I know I am having difficulty. I got my house back in order and Hubby goes back to work today so maybe normalcy will return somewhat and I'll get back on the horse and write again.


Angela said...

And blessings right back to you, Olivia!

Patti said...

Here's to ordinary miracles! Enjoy your break in routine, it's often just the thing we need the most.

Olivia said...

Thank you Kate, Angela and Patti! It surely is great to be out of the doldrums; I've enjoyed today a lot. Tomorrow we're off to a day trip to Seattle (about 90 minutes north of me). xxoo, O

Kikipotamus said...

Lovely StepDaughter's visit sounds like a great excuse to shake up the regular routines. Enjoy!

Olivia said...

Thanks, Kelly...will do! xxoo, O

Journey Through Life said...

I am so glad that LS is making a positive difference in your life. It's amazing how much good human companionship and loving relationships helps us.
Love to you,

Olivia said...

Thanks, Annie. Yes, she are right. I wish I could appreciate it more, but as a loner I so relish my time alone. I enjoy people very, very much (especially loving, supportive people) but typically have trouble on shorter visits when time together is necessarily longer because of the brevity of the trip. It's just a part of life, I guess. I am reading "Party of One: A Loner's Manifesto" which is helping me to accept the way I am.