Monday, January 14, 2008

Sacred Sunday Renewal

Today was Monday, but I'm getting back into the groove of a schedule and didn't want to miss the sacredness of the day. I'm enjoying my solitude so very much. Today I spent much of the day reading and writing in a coffee shop, but since I was with "my people"---other readers and writers for the most part, and no one interrupted me, I felt as replenished as if I'd been alone.

There has been a lively discussion going with respect to Creating a Complaint-Free World. Both Rick and Kelly have terrific posts about it.

I decided to take a vacation from being Complaint Free, not because I want to gossip, whine, complain and criticize, but because I want to focus on just one thing spiritually right now: being present and breathing---that's all. In addition, I have some conflicting feelings about my needs to set boundaries and to express some of my darker emotions, like frustration, irritation, and anger. I've discovered that I've used the Complaint Free Challenge to squelch those darker emotions instead of to express them in positive ways. I expect to go back after I explore this area of my life some more. So far, I haven't made it a whole day yet with GWCC, but I've been defining GWCC rather strictly and I think, erroneously. I want to take a break and regroup, and then come back with a more healthy approach.

Here is a video that is me saying hello and then a meditation on a candle and an amaryllis that has bloomed in my reading nook with what will eventually be seven blooms. It is only 59 seconds long :)

12 comments:

Leah said...

olivia, i'm so glad that you've realized that the way you were approaching gwcc in a way that squelching your personal expression! it did seem like you were being very strict with yourself. it's good to know when things aren't working and when to step away and re-group. good for you!!

(((hugs)))

Karen said...

I've been trying to figure this out, too--how do I not complain, but still deal with the emotion? I guess the answer is that I ask myself what I want/need. I've probably avoided officially avoided the commitment to GWCC because I'm not sure how I could do it and still be honest...

I think you're right, though--covering and hiding and smothering the emotions doesn't work...

Olivia said...

Thanks, Leah...I feel a little embarrassed, but I know that it's for the best for right now. I hope to come back to it with more insight and with a way of handling my darker emotions that fits right in with the spirit of Complaint-Free.

Love your hugs,

O

Olivia said...

Karen,

I think that this is what Kelly and Rick were emphasizing...I just am not sure how to do that with many emotions. I am so accustomed to ignoring my needs and wants that I need to develop some skills in this area. It's exciting though, and definitely an area for work in therapy for me. Maybe others will continue to discover more in this area too, and we can learn from them too. At this point I need to get up and stretch and really look at how I'm behaving and decide what to do about it. Onward...

Peace and rest and renewal, O

Patti said...

These feelings? I breathe and do do the Thich Nhat Hanh half-smile (even though people think I look a little strange! :)

I LOVE that candle. It is so peaceful with that undulating glow. Glad you could find some peace in your day.

Journey Through Life said...

This sounds like such a healthy thing to do. And here I am just starting complaint-free!! But I think everything needs to be balanced in life. And you have been doing complaint-free for a long time now. It sounds like a good idea to focus on being present and breathing as well as to explore other aspects of your pysche. The complaint-free will always be part of your pysche as well!
Annie
xxx

Angela said...

Olivia,

You're getting so creative with your videos! And I love your reading nook.

Your experience with GWCC reminds me of my experiences in AA with deflating the ego. While I understand what they mean by it, for a long time my ego was so crippled, I really needed to build a healthy one before I could attempt to transcend it. And that, my dear, is a work in progress!

Olivia said...

Patti,

It sounds so simple but I know this could work. Just feel them, breathe, and be there. It is really simple but just feels hard because it's a change. I will work with it though. Thank you, Lots of love, O

Olivia said...

Annie,

Yes, it will, and I hope to come back to it once I make dealing with difficult emotions a part of my psyche as well. I lived with GWCC for months, and have grown so much, wouldn't trade it for anything. Maybe you will sail through what I'm struggling with; then you can help me, too! Or if not I can help you...we're all in this together, right, along with Rick and Kelly and everyone else. I love seeing everyone's journey. Don't let my vacation discourage you...we're in this together!

Love on your journey,

O

xxoo

Olivia said...

Thanks, Angela! This could be what is happening that I just don't have words for. So many people have touched on it, and I know that something needs healing, it's related to the dark emotions, and I need to do it! In time, in time...Peace and love, O

Kelly said...

Olivia, I think this is a really wise decision. Without the period you spent on GWCC, you would not have gained this much awareness of those darker emotions and how much they are struggling to be expressed in a healthy way. I think this has crystallized something for you, and that's good. Blessings on your journey. It is sacred.

Olivia said...

Thank you, Kelly. I really appreciate your insight. Love, O