Today I had some recoup time, and my body is crying, "More, more", as is my spirit. So I'm going to keep it up.
Part of the reason I need more "quiet time" is that today I had a couple of unexpected events that brought some unexpected stress my way.
One is that a family member had a health crisis. It affects me a lot, and I went through a bit of a panic. I ended up taking the time to have a special quiet time, wrote in my journal and prayed about what to do. Ethically it was challenging because I wanted to call in medical professionals but my loved one wanted to handle it themselves. I decided to exercise the profound spiritual practice of letting go. For me this is challenging. It's still not over, but I'm working on not stressing on it. I'm letting go again, and again, and again. I so want to make things right, and I need to see that I am indeed making things right by letting go...until it's time to act...and I will know when that is.
Another is that I found out today that LoveHubbie had borrowed a large amount of money a short while back without telling me. He did actually tell me today, which was good. But our financial picture is pretty different than I thought it was. And obviously, this brings up some other issues for me and LoveHubbie that I will deal with. Married life. It was a good day to be hit by things I suppose, as good as such things ever get, because I did have the space and environment to deal with them.
Today everything brought the question up for me, "What is 'being brave'?" I had to decide this again and again. Is being brave stepping in or letting go? Is it trusting again, or refusing to trust? Is it being vulnerable yet again or taking care of oneself and acting to be safe? Is it forgiving or moving on? These are questions we all have to answer every day, questions that require us to define bravery and apply it in our lives.
~Photos by LoveHubbie Mark