Many people feel an ache, a sense of deep loneliness, because they think no one really cares what they have to give. Or perhaps they believe no one notices that their contribution comes uniquely from them as a precious gift. Or perhaps they feel invisible, like a fungible worker---anyone could be caring for those they serve. Maybe they are alone, and no one is physically there at all. Alternatively, many people may be physically present, but their contribution is rejected or ridiculed---and they feel like they are being rejected or ridiculed.
Today it is hard for me to understand why people throw away love, refuse gifts, reject givers, and toss their gifts without recognizing them as such. It seems that some people want to stay ensconced in pain and aloneness and hatred and isolation. This makes me very, very sad.
Sometimes it seems like---at least for these wounded souls---that hatred and fear are winning over love. I grieve because I want love to always win. And I don't understand why it doesn't.
~Pictures by LoveHubbie Mark
16 comments:
Wonderful post and well-timed. :) The topic of isolation has been coming up a lot lately.. on blogs and even in my sobriety support group. It seems taking this approach would end a lot of it.
Sometimes it's good to philosophize and try to figure out why it exists. At other times, it's good to just do these things you mention.
Thanks for the reminder. :)
~Chani
You're welcome, Chani.
As usual, this one was for me, to comfort me and to solicit answers. I wish I could understand why love doesn't always SEEM to win over fear. Sometimes it seems like hatred and evil are way out in front, winning big-time.
My spiritual beliefs prohibit attack or revenge, but I do get angry and there is so much that I don't understand. For example, I wonder why people are drawn to hatred in the first place. I'm sure it's woundedness...but you would think that after time that woundedness would begin to heal...or to show itself affected by love.
Sometimes I'm just sad.
Thanks for being here, Chani,
Love,
O
Thought-provoking post (wonderfully illustrated as always). Reading your response to Chani's comment ... I'm reminded that A Course In Miracles defines love as 'letting go of fear' ... so perhaps there's no winning (or losing) involved?
My Sacred Life Sunday post focused on Gratitude yesterday ... and I agree with you that 'giving brings joy' ... in fact ACIM defines 'giving and receiving as the same' so perhaps shifting our focus can change our experience and our lives.
As always ... thanks for sharing.
Hugs and blessings,
Olivia, I'm sad about this culture a lot as well. The reason love doesn't win over fear is because it doesn't serve the powers-that-be here.
I've come to the conclusion that all we can do is create small communities where we hold on to these things.. the love, the positivity, the compassion. By doing that, we are at least able to cushion ourselves a bit.
Part of the reason why I ordered Ascent to Humanity is because you mentioned that it made it easier for you to be here.
Anything that can accomplish that is worth my time to read.
Because, honestly, the culture here is what causes my depression. I'm always fine in Thailand. (Although I got some bad news about T. this morning - more westernization - legalizing gambling, etc.)
~Chani
Such powerful words here.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Accept what people have to offer.
Drink their milkshakes.
Take their love."
-Wally Lamb
Virginia,
Yes, yes, yes...I've put the struggle in there, haven't I? The war. There is no war at all, just a letting go. I am making it hard again. And absolutely...no difference between giving and receiving. What am I not receiving here...(sigh!) Thank you, Virginia :)
What a great student of the Course you are.
Love, O
Chani,
Ascent of Humanity will help you to be happy wherever you are because YOU will not BE a part of the culture, but will carry it inside you. And you will know that it is not you that is all screwed-up or a giant misfit, but that it is our culture. You will also know exactly how and why it is such a mess. AOH changed my world view. If it doesn't revolutionize your world view (it will), I'll buy it from you...I really do believe in what is espoused in it!
It is easier when the culture around you resonates with your values, of course. That's why I can't wait to go to Maui in four days. by culture, I don't mean the touristy thing (which we avoid), but the real Hawaiian culture, which you sort of have to find...but we know where to find it after quite a few trips.
Thank you, Chani, xxoo, O
Beautiful, Bella. I love comparing milkshakes to offered gifts :)
xxoo,
O
I love that quote from Bella! In fact, I'm putting it on the sidebar of my blog. :)
As for the culture, yes, I have discovered that isolating myself from its influence is essential. I can't be okay and not do that.
I am not a part of it. That's for sure.
Your draw to Hawaiian culture makes complete sense to me, of course. My draw and adoption of Thai culture is the same thing.
Ascent of Humanity will be here by next week. (Amazon order). I hope you are still up for discussing it then.
~Chani
Chani,
I will be up to discussing it any time at all! I will be in Hawaii next week though---whoo hoo! (We take no techno devices like computers or palms with us on purpose!) Still, it will probably take you a while to read it, so the timing will work out well, I think.
I usually read 60 pages per hour, and I read AOH at 10-20pph because there was so much to chew on. It will be the joy of your life when you finish and know where "everything fits".
XXOO, O
Okay. I'm going to have to order that book. It is sad when people choose to stay in the pain of fear and hatred, but there are a lot of us making the conscious choice to move away from that. We find each other, as is obvious from the bloggers we visit and subsequently attract.
Have a wonderful trip, Olivia!!! You'll be missed.
Thank you, Angela. Rest up! I will miss you too...
I hope you'll enjoy AOH...again, as I've said elsewhere but I'm "warning" you and others about again: AOH is a TOME, and my first thought was that I couldn't make it through because it looks like it's filled with science and philosophy and chemistry and YUCK---like the part of school I hated. I bought it and didn't read it.
Then a week ago I told Charles this (in my class on The Yoga of Eating). He encouraged me to go for it. AOH is approachable and readable, while still being intellectual. And it's almost 600 pages. Not a walk in the park, but a hike to the top of the mountain---some of us may not be in the mood for this type of walking at this point in our lives, no matter what they payoffs. I thought you'd like this analogy :) Or we may be in the mood---it just depends on us.
I didn't want you or anyone to get the book and then think "OMG what kind of books does Olivia read for fun...textbooks...intellectual essays...the NYT Book Review?" No. This is different.
It is a worldview exchange and healing that costs $25 that I'd do anything for. Even read a book that big and that hard. Because it healed a precious part of me, and gave me a gift. A vital gift that I will need for these times that are coming and that I even need so much today.
I can't wait to talk to Charles Eisenstein tonight to find out more about how to keep this experience with me (other than reviewing the book again and again) and how to connect with others who have read it.
There are those of us who are waiting for it and we will find each other.
Healing blessings, and good rest, Angela. You are in such a fine place for life change and transition. It will be exciting for me to catch up with you when I return at the end of March. You'll be up and walking around by then, I'll bet!
Love,
O
Olivia,
I figure that if I can get through Whitehead "Process and Reality", I can get through this one okay. :) The most important thing to me is that it really does deal with the cultural issues I find so objectionable. I need to make peace with that somehow.
I hope you will post about Charles Eisenstein's thoughts you hear tonight! :)
Meanwhile, have a healing and wonderful time in Hawaii. I find that each time I return to Thailand.
OMG, Chani, you're way ahead of me...you'll be fine! YES IT DOES...YES IT WILL...
I can't wait to hear!
Hugs and blessings, O
WOW
There you are, Annie! Love to you, O
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