Saturday, February 20, 2010

Livin' With Integrity and La Vida Low-Carb and Me

This morning I rewatched an Amazon video review I did for Jimmy Moore's first book called "Livin' La Vida Low-Carb" and almost cried. Here it is 2.5 years later, and as much as I believe in this way of eating, I am still just as heavy. My extensive knowledge base has been bolstered by numerous other books about healthy eating since then, the two most notable being Gary Taubes' "Good Calories, Bad Calories" (especially for academicians and scientists) and Nora Gedgaudes "Primal Body Primal Mind".

I definitely know how to eat for my own health, as nutrition has been my hobby for over thirty years. The problem is that as extensive as my knowledge base is, I've continued to eat a diet that despite lots of Nordic walking and gyrotonics, keeps me heavy. It's a good diet--healthy whole organic foods, which are easy to find where I live. It just keeps me heavy and does nothing for my damaged blood sugar regulation system. Despite even cutting out drinking alcohol (a drastic step for me as a wine lover), I've become pre-diabetic. And then late last year I had to stop gyrotonics because of health issues. Now I'm having to cut back on walking due to problems with my knees and feet. I do believe that these health problems are weight related. Besides all of this going on with me, LoveHubbie is diabetic, heavy and soon may need to begin injecting insulin since the medication alone cannot overcome the effects of the carbohydrates in his diet.

So now Jimmy Moore has written a second book called "21 Life Lessons From Livin' La Vida Low-Carb: How The Healthy Low-Carb Lifestyle Changed Everything I Thought I Knew", which I have delayed reviewing. And reading it, btw. This is not like me because Jimmy is the greatest guy in the world, and I love to do book reviews for people I know, even more for those who have an important message. But still, I have delayed.

The reason is fear.

Although I identify with this way of eating (healthy low carb), with this way of being in the world, and although I feel great when I live this lifestyle--I am afraid to change. I am comfortable and my way of doing things works for me on every other level except my health. And I really don't like that period of change at the beginning when change is hard and uncomfortable and takes effort and hard work.

So here I stay.

False starts and stumbles over the past months have left me feeling defeated. I watch my friends succeed and do great things. Like Julia Rogers Hamrick who is eating a healthy raw and whole foods diet and shedding pounds. And Lori-Lyn who is vegan and now giving up sugar. And Chani who has lost her weight with Weight Watchers. They have found what works for them, ways of being in the world that resonate for them, and live them out. I am envious of their integrity--that they live out what they know is right for them. They walk their talk.

And here I sit.

But I feel like I've hit bottom and I'm sitting AT the bottom--a place where I don't want to be.

So I'm going to make another beginning. I'm starting right now to eat the way I know my body loves. I'm going to care for myself. Be congruent with what I know and believe and with how I behave. I'm going to aggressively support myself in doing this, too, because I need a lot of support.

Oh, and yes, Jimmy, I'm going to actually read your book that has been sitting here on my "To Be Read ASAP" pile for the last three months. Then I'm going to review it. But most importantly, I'm going to live out what it says.


Julia Rogers Hamrick said...

Hmmm...instead of thinking of what you're going to have to give up and change, why not just try ADDING green smoothies? They do magic even when you don't change anything else! Once you get the ball rolling, who knows what you'll just naturally FEEL like doing?!

Olivia--you will do what you need to do when you're ready. It took me a LONG time to get to that point, and it was precipitated by being unable to walk! I truly hope you don't have get to that place, but if that's what it takes, so be it.

Please be kind and compassionate with yourself. I have never had any success with transformation when there was a lack of Love. Love is the only transformative power!



Julia Rogers Hamrick said...

P.S. I have absolutely no self-discipline when it comes to food. I have had to surrender this whole thing and let my Spirit take over. And suddenly, I simply FEEL like making the healthy choice! Trust yourSelf.

kikipotamus said...

I completely agree with Julia. Love, love, love. Compassion, compassion. Trust. K

thailandchani said...

When I decided to lose weight, I can't even say there was an external reason that motivated me. In retrospect, I think I did it to prove I can. It was something I could do without feeling that someone else had control over my success or failure. That was really empowering. Any external benefits were lagniappe.

That leads me to believe that we can *all* do it - when we discover our own reasons.

With all due respect, I disagree with your previous commenters (although I agree with Kelly on nearly everything, typically). I don't think it matters what we feel. It matters what we do.


Angela said...

Good luck, O. And my only advice would be to not try and go cold tureky on the carbs. Plan for a little cake or biscuit or whatever it is you love every few days so you don't start feeling deprived. Also, the green smoothie is a great suggestion. It's always easier for me to tackle incremental changes - except, of course, when it comes to drinking. :)

Much love!

kikipotamus said...

I totally get Chani's point and remind myself that feelings follow actions. Also, I'm sure each person is different in this, but when I give up refined carbs and sugars, I have to give them up 100%. One taste can bring me right back into the cycle.