This morning I have been enjoying reading the blog posts of those of you who have chosen words for the year. kate chose Embrace, Lori-Lyn chose Essence, and Patti is letting her year unfold rather than choosing a word prematurely. I decided to break my blogging inertia because I wanted to share my word with you.
This year my word picked me. It came to me before the end of 2011, and I knew it was right. My word is "Imperfection".
I haven't been blogging because I've felt like a dry well, like I have nothing to say. Whenever I was not dealing with life I've wanted to soak things up, take things in, regenerate my soul batteries to deal with the next thing life would bring by. At the same time, my personal life has been filled with all kinds of activity that has involved other people and stories that for the sake of other's privacy I've not been able to share--but I really want to. I've felt empty and muzzled at the same time.
This year I'm determined to find a way to rejoin you and the rest of my community. I don't know how yet, but I know it will be imperfectly.
As a recovering perfectionist, I want to take this year and actually enjoy doing things imperfectly, knowing that the lack of perfection is not a reflection on my worth or a display of weakness, but a reflection of my value apart from my performance, and a consequence of my taking risks, coming out of hiding, and trying new things.
Imperfection is actually a new freedom for me. Instead of being self-compelled to doing "all things with excellence"--my mantra for the years 1957-2011--this year I plan to do all things imperfectly and to take delight in doing so.
Please join me on my new adventure. I promise I will share it with you more often and...imperfectly.
~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark
This year my word picked me. It came to me before the end of 2011, and I knew it was right. My word is "Imperfection".
I haven't been blogging because I've felt like a dry well, like I have nothing to say. Whenever I was not dealing with life I've wanted to soak things up, take things in, regenerate my soul batteries to deal with the next thing life would bring by. At the same time, my personal life has been filled with all kinds of activity that has involved other people and stories that for the sake of other's privacy I've not been able to share--but I really want to. I've felt empty and muzzled at the same time.
This year I'm determined to find a way to rejoin you and the rest of my community. I don't know how yet, but I know it will be imperfectly.
As a recovering perfectionist, I want to take this year and actually enjoy doing things imperfectly, knowing that the lack of perfection is not a reflection on my worth or a display of weakness, but a reflection of my value apart from my performance, and a consequence of my taking risks, coming out of hiding, and trying new things.
Imperfection is actually a new freedom for me. Instead of being self-compelled to doing "all things with excellence"--my mantra for the years 1957-2011--this year I plan to do all things imperfectly and to take delight in doing so.
Please join me on my new adventure. I promise I will share it with you more often and...imperfectly.
~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark
18 comments:
I think 'imperfection' is perfect O!
There is a degree of letting go that happens to allow imperfection to be and it makes me feel at peace with myself and that is perfect! Does that make sense?
I hope you find that peace and look forward as always to your posts, however often you are here!
Yes, Patti, it does. It is a huge freedom and indeed, peacefulness. Thank you for your acknowledgement and encouragement always, Patti. xoO
I love it Olivia!! Imperfection opens up so much room for new possibilities while perfection is so limiting.
As you know, the past few years have been difficult for me with family issues that were, like your situation, not just my own story. But what I found I COULD speak about were my own reactions (the anger, hurt, worry, anxiety) to the issues and triggers and interestingly, this forced me to focus on my own healing journey.
I look forward to seeing more of you here if that's something that feels right for you. Sending you love and support on your journey. (It was so wonderful to see you last week even though it was much too brief.)
kate,
I was always so proud of my perfectionism and my motto "excellence in all ways". Very silly when it becomes so limiting, isn't it, you're right!
I need to remember that--my reactions--they are mine--and I can find ways to share around what is happening with me. Lots of people do it successfully, including you, kate, so I will hold that intention.
I do want to come back to blogging; I miss it so much, and the online interaction. FB is great but doesn't have the depth that reading each other's blogs and sharing does.
It was great to see you too, and I am thinking that we will see each other again, "soon" :) xoO
Olivia,
What a great word! I still really struggle with perfectionism. There are a few things I would like to do in this community but know I will probably not do them because the standards I hold myself to make the projects too overwhelming to begin. Argh. That drives me crazy. You inspire me to break out of this self-defeating pattern.
Kelly, perfectionism is such a self-defeating pattern, isn't it? You have conquered so many things, I am certain you can do so with perfectionism and setting stratospheric standards :) xoO
Love the real-ness of this word, Olivia ! I will so enjoy having your voice back in the blogging community. Don't worry about feeling like you have nothing to write or creating that perfectly interesting post. You being you is what draws like-minded souls to you.
May 2012 bring you juciy and perfectly imperfect life living !
Thank you, my Queen. I appreciate that, and that is my goal.
I like the idea of joining in with my voice...with all of my friends...singing imperfectly off-key but with strength and trueness.
Peace to you, My Queen, and love!
Oh Olivia! I like the freedom that resides in this!
Reading your word made me think of a phrase from a book I read recently. The author made a remark about being 'perfectly imperfect' and the beauty that is within our flaws and our humanity. Cheers to you this upcoming year!
P.S. I have a new blog called 'dreamer:believer'
Click my name or go here - http://dreamhustle.blogspot.com/
I'm ending notes from the laundromat...
Kristine, there is a word for this in the Japanese--"wabi sabi"--something I have loved but never embraced. I am so relieved and unburdened to finally do so.
I am on my way to your new blog---YAY! xoO
I feel such an energy of expansion in that word - of the river of life flowing and flowing as a part of it, within it. It feels good.
xoxox
What I love about this word and the way you wrote about it is the feeling that there's going to be lots of doing and fun-having. Who needs perfection anyway?? ;-)
I'm glad I saw your post on FB...consider yourself added to my Google reader!
I would love to join you as you experience this new adventure! Imperfect is a neat word and I know you'll enjoy all the experiences it brings you.
I do have a word for the year, UNITY. Haven't said much about it yet, just put a post up with Christmas and New Years photos, so all in good time. Since I have the whole year to work with it, there's no rush.
Happy New Year to you and yours, Olivia. xo
Thanks, Lori-Lyn, I love how you can sense and read and interpret the energies of so many things! xoO
Karen,
It's good to see you here! I will think of you always as Karen CL from our group. I'm glad you'll be reading my blog; I certainly have enjoyed yours, xoO
Thanks for joining in, Mary Catherine, and I did like your holiday pictures...I'm going over there to comment right after this. Unity--yes! xoO
Olivia, I just read about a book written by Brene Brown (look up her TED talk) on imperfection. It sounds like it is something you might like!It is called: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. I have not read it but the reviewers seem to really like it; out of 84 reviews it gets 72 5 star reviews.
I met you years ago at Harmony Hill at a labyrinth retreat!
Lynne
Lynne, it is nice to see you here and I am amazed that you remember me from that long ago retreat. How did you remember and find me? Thank you for leaving your comment.
Yes, I love Brene Brown. I have read her books and watched her TED Talks. The book you mention is one I am going to be rereading this year. I thought I'd written a review, but apparently I hadn't...Her first book I did write a review for: http://amzn.to/z29PT9
Please come back, Lynne, and let me know if you have a blog or FB or Twitter :)
Blessings, Olivia
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