Sunday, June 28, 2009

Sacred Life Sunday: Hidden Writing in Wreck This Journal

I just noticed that there have been 600 posts at the happyluau. That seems like quite a few, but my first post was 2 1/2 years ago...

Everything I post here is written with you, my readers, in mind. Everything I write in my journal is written for myself, but always with the thought in the back of my mind that someone someday could find it. Since starting Wreck This Journal, I've discovered something fascinating---that there is so much more I want to write, and I can write it on WTJ pages that are hidden from everyone. Like this:

I have been very quiet in the WTJ group lately, not posting in a few weeks, mainly because these pages with hidden writing are not very exciting on the surface, especially when compared to the many creative things all of you are doing. My very favorite post so far was Suzie's baking her journal in a cake! Compared to amazing things like this, a compulsion to write all over the printed pages in WTJ with hidden writing didn't seem that special or blogworthy. Then I listened to Jamie's video about comparisons and being comfortable with where we were in our process. I realized that this writing is significant to me, so that it's exactly what I should be doing right now.

Thus I'm continuing to write, write, write many things on those pages. No one can go back and read them, even me. It's very freeing, and what is coming out is surprising. I censor myself far too much in my journal; I do think that this process is helping me to be freer in what I write. And to admit things to myself that I have been resisting and holding back about.

I'm writing this on Sacred Sunday because I think that everyone can benefit from writing in this way. If you don't have a WTJ, just write on some newpaper or discarded artwork or in a book or anything really...something that noone will be able to read. And I think that like me, you may be surprised at what comes out.

Sacred Sunday is for me a day of rest and contemplation, and a perfect time to do this sort of writing. I hope that you may find it so as well.


thailandchani said...

I like the idea of writing that way. A long time ago, I used to write pages and pages ~ and then burn them. That way, I could be brutally honest about anything that needed to be written but didn't have to live with the possibility of ever having it seen by anyone else.

As for journaling in general, I've never been very good at it though.


Jane said...

I love to write in my journal every day. Like you, I tend to censor what goes in there more than I should. We should never feel like we have to censor our private writing. It does feel like freedom when you can just let it all go! Keep wrecking!!!!

gemma said...

Olivia It is great that you've found a space to write freely...
There is so much value in doing that.WTJ has been a learning experience for so many of us. Who knew?

patti said...

It is great that you are getting so much out of WTJ, even if you aren't posting much.

I know what you mean! I found that I would write in my 'special' journal things that I really didn't want anyone to see. So I ended up tearing the pages out (wrecking my journal!) without really wanting to.

So now when I write freeform 'morning pages' I do it on cheap exercise-book paper that I can throw away without upsetting my nice journal. And I can say whatever I want - liberating!

Olivia said...

I really love what you gals are doing. Burning, writing on cheap paper, just censoring less...yes, yes. And WTJ is truly a learning experience.

I have learned so much from each project I've been involved in from the first one (Finding Water with Jessie and Leah) to WTJ with Jamie. The very best part of all of the projects is the wonderful people I've met here, including you gals.

Oh, and Happy birthday, Patti :)

Love you gals,


Kirby3131 said...

I'm not understanding why you cannot even read your own writing. Are you writing over and over again on the same lines? Is that why it isn't legible?

I edit everything that I write. I edit what I say too, I notice. It's probably better that I don't blurt out everything I think anyway. LOL

Good for you for using this journal the way you want to.

patti said...

Thankyou for the Birthday wishes O.

Jamie Ridler said...

Wow, I think that's extraordinary. I really do. As someone who really has to get things outside of myself in order to understand them, I can so see the value in this - the privacy, the freedom, the commitment to process.

This week I realized how little I have actually written in this journal. You may just have opened a big door for me. Thank you! I'm so glad that you decided to share your secret writing.

Kim Mailhot said...

Hi Olivia !
I think that the wonder of the Wreck This Journal project is how varied every participant's interpretation of each page is. The fact that there is no wrong or right way to do it is definitely the key to the challenge. It has to come from inside you...which you figured out, lovely Brave One! So write, my sister, write !

Anonymous said...

How interesting. Are you writing over top of earlier writing? I think that's what I see in the picture. I think it's interesting that you realized you censor yourself in your own journal. It has me wondering... I probably do the same thing. I am going to keep this post in mind when I write tomorrow morning.

Olivia said...

Kirby3131, welcome to the happyluau. No, I'm just writing over the top of pages that are already printed on; one of the WTJ exercise suggests this :) I'm so enjoying the "not editing" for a change!

Patti, You're welcome and I hope it was a good birthday!

Thanks, Jamie, and I hope that you DO write in your journal; I'll look forward to hearing about what happens!

Kim, My Queen, yes, I agree that we can individualize this process, which is part of what makes it so much fun. Thanks for the encouragement!

Sherrileigh, welcome to the happyluau, and yes, I'm writing over typed pages. It wasn't very clear on purpose (I blurred the writing to keep it private!). I hope that you have a good exercise writing without censorship!

Thank you all for coming and commenting!



judi said...

i did that several days this week,, writing and writing over it,, i dont journal regularly.. but I see I need to.. I talked to myself with mt pen for hours

keep on covering it up

Olivia said...

Thanks, Judi, yes it's exciting to see, isn't it, what comes out when we know no one can see. I'm thrilled that you experienced the freedom of this too. Welcome to the happyluau! Blessings, O

Barbara Martin (@Reptitude) said...

What a fascinating, life changing kind of discovery you have made. Almost like writing in magic disappearing ink! And yet you have that direct hand to heart to page connection going on. Sometimes it's enough just to get it out ... and ... let it go. No expectations, no edits, no judging, no sharing or showing, just doing. Like a physical form of meditation. So happy you found this technique works for you!!!! thank you for generously sharing your secret, too.

Keep on wrecking!!!!!!!

Olivia said...

Thank you for your encouragement, Barbara, and welcome to the happyluau! I like your comparison to physical meditation---it is like that. Thank you again, blessings, Olivia

Suzie the Foodie said...

What an honour, thank you.

Olivia said...

You're most welcome, Suzie! xo, O

Leah said...

I agree, it's so wonderful to be able to write things "for your eyes only." How lovely that the wrecking process has reconnected you with that!

Olivia said...

I'm glad you understand, Leah. It is a great thing, isn't it? xo, O