Here is a video (3:46) I made while packing for vacation while my Internet connection was down:
It is of some significant for several reasons. For one, Miss Porcupine makes a return appearance. For another, I didn't give my love rocks to the two repair guys (Internet and phone) who came today. One was truly a Repair Angel, and the other was simply a very nice guy. I chickened out! I shook the hands of both of them, and promised them home-cooked meals if they ever had to come out again. I thanked them profusely.
This forced me to see how being brave is a muscle, and my muscles have become flaccid lately from lack of use. I tend to use my vacations sort of like I suppose most people use mental hospitals after nervous breakdowns---I wait until I have no more resources to draw upon, then I go on vacation---where I relax, restore, and re-create myself. Right now I feel like a weak shadow of who I am.
I know better, but yet I repeat this pattern again and again. Neither myself nor LoveHubbie knows how to pace ourselves with well-spaced time for work and play. We work, burn out, keep working for many more weeks or months, watch our lives start to disintegrate, keep working, and then...off in the distance we see the vacation. So we have hope. We keep working but we now have a goal. Not just us, but the staff at LoveHubbie's office thinks, "If we can only hold on until then..." Then we get there. Finally. We go on vacation. Everyone gets a break.
We remind ourselves of who we are. We are in Hawaii. We talk about never leaving Hawaii. We decide to come home anyway. We BMW (bitch-moan-whine) about how hard re-entry is. And then we repeat the cycle.
Gosh, but I want to do this differently this time. I want to be brave enough to create the kind of life I truly want while I am in Hawaii. And to bring it back here. And to do things differently.
Your prayers and/or good, positive, creative energies are actively solicited...
See the Love Rock story here.