Wednesday, August 13, 2008
BE BRAVE: Post 14: Wellness Wednesday: My Friends Held Me Up
Thank you, my wonderful friends.
Thank you to each one of you who were in my corner.
Who sent your thoughts, prayers, love, light, and support my way,
Who counseled me to trust the process.
Who told me to say "I'm safe in the arms of love" and to envision myself wrapped and held in angel wings...Yes, I met my angels!
Who told me to breathe.
Who were thinking of me these last days,
Who told me they hoped I was alright and would see some good days soon,
That all things would pass,
To batten down the hatches, tie myself to the wheel, and ride it out.
That surrender was the only way.
Who told me I was strong, and I could do it,
To hang in there and swim through.
Who sent puppy kisses, buckets of love, and hugs,
Who told me I'd come through this stronger than ever,
And to focus on the next five minutes.
To hang in there.
To continue to be brave.
I appreciate you all. I haven't been reading your blogs, but will be soon. Instead, I was hunkering down in and drawing strength via your comments, prayer---I now have a vibrant prayer life, which is a first---and I even stepped out and called two of you, which for me is a BE BRAVE step, but one that yielded great fruit for me.
I wish I could tell you what happened, but I know you will understand since it involves others, not just me, but me too in a big way. It comes off as being mysterious, and I'm sorry about that. I could have ignored it and tried to blog around it, but it is my life right now, everything is changing, I'm in the middle of BE BRAVE, and besides, I needed you. I have been in the Land of Surrender where I have been stepping slowly and taking good care of myself so that I can be clear-headed and calm to make decisions.
It's Wellness Wednesday, and I am well.
As many of you know, during trauma and grief it is sometimes weird to do "normal" things. Today was the first day I had lots of time for "normal" things. It was the first day I didn't feel like I was putting on a huge acting show using all my strength and will when I needed to pretend as though everything was fine (like with the pest man and the post office clerk). It still feels a little odd to do normal things, but it's getting easier.
I am grateful that I was in the middle of BE BRAVE for this. And that I have some bravery muscles and bravery skills. Gosh, this process prepares you for life! I'm not going to even attempt to detail BE BRAVE actions as they were innumerable and consistent, plus I don't want to relive the last five days for anything.
I was even more grateful to feel the support of you all behind me, telling me that I could absolutely do this.
I met angels, indeed. And I found family, real family (which I have no experience with in real life)---as in people who are there for you and would give you the shirt off their back---in unexpected places.
This will be a part of my life for at least several months, so I may refer to it. It is a great relief to have a place to continue to share my feelings and experiences and ideas and life lessons in an authentic way, even if I can't "lay it all on you" :) Thank you for being there.
~Picture by LoveHubbie Mark