That Is What I Do

I wanted to share with you a special meditation from the book that I am currently reading in my quiet time, "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo:

"In Indian, there is a story about a kind, quiet man who would pray in the Ganges River every morning. One day after praying, he saw a poisonous spider struggling in the water and cupped his hands to carry it ashore. As he placed the spider on the ground, it stung him. Unknowingly, his prayers for the world diluted the poison.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day, the kind man was knee deep in the river, and, sure enough, there was the spider, legs frantic in the water. As the man went to lift the creature yet again, the spider said, "Why do you keep lifting me? Can't you see I will sting you every time, because that is what I do." And the kind man cupped his hands about the spider, replying, 'Because that is what I do.'"

I love this story, because it validates being authentic to who you are and to your values despite the consequences, a topic that has been on my mind these last several months. It also demonstrates the subtle power of intention and prayer in doing good.

I have been challenged recently in several situations to define what is important to me and who I am, and have found answers that have disturbed and even ended some of my relationships. Everything has ended up being for my overall good after all (as I believe is the case, but now get to experience). In addition, I have discovered more about "what I do", i.e., who I am and who I am not.

Just now, turning 50, I am finally starting to learn to refuse to just sit back and allow others to invalidate me for my values and choices. In everything, from friendships, to business, to bio-family relationships, to my stepchildren, this seems to be my lesson. I spent the first 50 years of my life more filled with self-doubt and trying to please others, and less being able to articulate and stand up for my values. I do believe that being in Maui clarified so much for me as far as being able to trust my intuition, to trust myself and what I believe in.

I have wondered about trust---is is better to trust someone and be taken advantage of---where is the balance---and am learning this important lesson too. I will always be one of those people who trusts and then sometimes is disappointed, because I do believe that far and away most people are worthy of trust. However, I will also do much more "due diligence" before involving myself in close relationships with people, especially in business situations. A balance is needed, to come to a type of "wise trust"---trust that is backed by diligently evaluating the relationship, checking and listening to my intuition, and then going ahead, knowing that by opening up, I am leaving myself open and vulnerable. That vulnerability is guarded by Spirit, I believe, and only those learning experiences that are really important for my overall good will get through Spirit's protection.

What do you think of the story? Did it touch you as it did me? Can you relate to it, in the same or maybe a different way than I did?

~Picture by Hubbie Mark from Maui 2007 Birthday Trip