Saturday, June 2, 2012

Sitting in Limbo

I have been incommunicado for almost a month now, mainly because of an as-of-yet undiagnosed foot ailment. It was misdiagnosed in February as plantar fasciitis (for which I've had extensive treatments of all types), and now it appears to be much more, involving other nerves and other connective tissue in my left foot.

After a sudden and alarming exacerbation of the pain, I went to the emergency room. Concerned that I had a stress fracture, they had me immobilize my foot in a boot for the last two weeks. I have had many people supporting me, driving me to and fro, pushing me in a wheelchair, helping me with basic tasks of daily living. In order to go to an appointment it is a big production, with even getting bathed and dressed being challenging when you can only stand on one foot.

I was trying to hold out for a visit to an orthopedic foot specialist in the nearest large metropolitan city, Seattle. Finally this past Friday I had another exacerbation and was concerned that I was making my foot worse by waiting. So I saw a local orthopedic surgeon who is going to get me an MRI next week; however, he has no idea what is wrong. Hopefully the MRI will tell him something helpful.

In the meantime I am going to start yet another course of prednisone. Steroids always make me confused and disoriented and emotional, definitely not myself. So I thought I'd pop this up while I am still clear-headed and make some sense.

I haven't walked outside since Feb 23rd and miss it so much! Our weather is beautiful here, after months of snow and the omnipresent winter and spring rain. Bad timing for a major foot injury.

It is a difficult place to be without a diagnosis. I find myself wondering when I will get better, often IF I will get better, and trying to remember what it felt like to move my body and to walk.

And I hope for a diagnosis soon, so that I can know what I'm dealing with.


kate i said...

Oh Olivia, I'm so, so sorry to hear that it's been worse. I believe it WILL get better and once the doctor knows what he's working with, I'm sure they'll come up with a healing plan.

I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and as you say, with our warm spring weather, it's even harder to bear. Thinking of you and sending you love my friend.

Olivia said...

Thank you so much, kate. AY Yi Yi! It is SO hard. I will believe along with you. xoO

patti said...

Even though it is hard to see an end to your pain O, I am sure the doctors will find a solution soon.

Meanwhile use the rest time to your best advantage, if you can.

Thinking of you and sending you healing thoughts. xx

~Karen C.L. Anderson~ said...

There's nothing worse than not knowing! Hang in's to finding easily addressed solutions, fast!

Olivia said...

Thank you, Patti and Karen. I appreciate the support and healing wishes, and especially your taking the time to comment and let me know, xoO

Kim Mailhot said...

Oh, Honey, this is sad news. I am sending extra big waves of white lite and love around you in the hopes that answers come quickly and you can begin moving again. In the meantime, I hope the view from the window or perhaps just outside in your garden gives you some comfort.
Much love !

Olivia said...

Thank you so much, Kim. And thank you for your Big Love, xoO

Angie D in Ohio said...


Not knowing can be maddening. I hope the MRI pinpoints the problem and a solution can be tackled promptly. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts and I'm sending mega healing thoughts and lights your way.

Much love!


Olivia said...

Thank you so much, EB. I know that you know what this is like. I appreciate your healing support so much. Much love, xoO

patti said...

How are things O? I hope that you are making progress with your efforts to heal. Hang in there and hope that we hear from you soon x

Olivia said...

Hi, Patti,

I am still waiting to go to the Seattle specialist (in four days). In the meantime, I have had two visits with the local orthopedic surgeon and been prescribed more drugs for pain relief and inflammation.

Also, I have had an MRI which shows that I did not have plantar fasciitis or a rupture or a stress fracture. Ruling out all of this is good, I think. Now I just have to find out what it IS.

I still cannot drive or get around without a walker or wheelchair. It still feels very much as though my life is on hold.

So, some progress...not enough for me, but such it is.

I am planning to begin eating gluten-free as a desperate attempt for some improvement so that I can at least walk, even with pain.

Thank you for checking back, Patti. Much love, xoO