Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Peace in the Drama

One great side benefit from the homeopathic HCG diet I've been experiencing is a general sense of well-being, a great difference from my normal base state of generalized anxiety. That has been the best benefit so far. The sense of peace and empowerment has been valuable this month as different personal stresses have come up.

I had written on my diet blog that someone told me a secret that shook up my world and my sense of reality. Someone I'm close to, we'll call her "Calley",  told me that she is in fact an addict. All of a sudden all of the stories she has told me over many years that previously didn't make sense and sounded oddly convoluted now make sense. She is an addict and has lots of other problems too (obviously). She was honest with me after lying to me (and everyone else) for years, which I am very happy about, but now I need to decide how to be around her--where I need new boundaries and how to stay safe. Spiritually, my life is now all about letting go, so I need to determine how to let go in this situation. I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this as I am still in shock and a bit dazed, but I have prayed about it and am confident that I'll know what to do as time goes on. Lots of addict drama here, but all is fine. Again, that peace and empowerment sense is most helpful.

Peaceful feelings--knowing that God is control--and feelings of empowerment--knowing that I will indeed be able to do whatever I need to do--these are so vital to me today.

I am grateful.


kikipotamus said...

Wow, that's pretty intense. Thank you for sharing it here.

Olivia said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Kelly. I think it might have been a teeny tiny bit too intense for here after all (since you are the only person who commented) but it is what is going on in my life and it is a big huge deal right now.

I am sure that other people have dealt with this too; it's just that it's pretty personal to put on a blog, I guess. I suppose I could have left it out, but for some reason really wanted to include it.

It's taking "letting go" pretty far, while at the same time setting boundaries, which is a big leap for me.

Thank you again, K. xoO

patti said...

I'm actually reading a book about a drug addict at the moment, who does the twelve steps. Definitely intense! The character is successful in becoming clean, but needs a huge amount of support and trust along the way. I feel for your friend and hope she gets the support she needs.

For you I guess, it's finding a balance between trust and wariness (?)

Olivia said...

Thanks, Patti. Yes, I want to provide support and at the exact same time have appropriate boundaries and self-care so that I am not harmed either. Sometimes people act out in ways that are violent when they are using when they would not usually be that way. Or do other things that are out of character but put others in danger.

Thanks you so much, Patti. xoO

Kim Mailhot said...

I think the biggest thing is to let go of judgement and return to what our soul knows it the key - LOVE. Love your hurt parts, love your friend through what she is going through, love the courage that she had to muster to finally live in the truth, and love the fact that she has a friend like you who is there to just love her.
Love is the answer to every question, and this I know for sure.
Love to you, Beautiful Olivia.

Olivia said...

Oh, this is profound, Kim. Yes, LOVE:

(1) My hurt parts,
(2) What she is going through,
(3) The courage she had to muster to finally live in the truth,
(4) The fact that she has me to love her.

These are HUGE. I had to write a list to really see it and to realize too what blessings these each are. Even #1 as I wouldn't hurt unless I loved so much. Thank you for this beautiful perspective My Queen of the Big Love,