Hey, everyone, I've been slow to return to blogging after my vacation.
I have some hard news today. My BFF, Chani from Finding My Way Home passed away while I was on vacation. At first (actually until today) I'd thought that she'd just cut off contact with me, mainly because this very thing had happened to me before with friendships with women. I'd felt intense rejection from not being able to get hold of her--I assumed she was ignoring me and had rejected me for some unknown reason--for exactly one month today. I'd talked to her for seven hours during the first two weeks of my vacation---then nothing. I personalized it and felt sorry for myself. It turns out it was just a drama created completely in my head. I could not---would not---conceive that something terrible had happened to her. It had.
It ended up that Chani passed away about three weeks ago, at a crescendo in her life, a BE BRAVE time, right before she moved and started a whole new phase of her life. She died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Chani was better than a BFF, really. She was right beside me at the biggest crisis of my life, 16 months ago, and ever since. She was in many ways my North Star, probably too important to me. I loved her so much.
My biggest regret is that I never told Chani what she meant to me. I hope she knew.
My message to you is that if there is anyone who is important to you, anyone whom you love, LET THEM KNOW. Don't wait. Chani was a good friend. There was no one like Chani, and there will never again be anyone like her. This is true for everyone you love. Tell them how you feel. Love them today. It may be their last day ever.
So I'm back to blogging, for a sad but important reason.