Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm So Greedy

I've had an interesting couple of days here. It is mushroom season in Washington where I live, which means that here in the forest, mushrooms sprout up like you wouldn't believe and people go "shrooming". These people study so that they can correctly identify edible mushrooms, as a mistake can be disasterous. Yesterday someone I trust picked me some chanterelle mushrooms from the side of my driveway and I had them for dinner cooked in butter with a little salt. I cooked them really well. Now normally I wouldn't even try this (LoveHubbie wouldn't even think of it) but this shrooming friend teaches wild food foraging, so I thought I'd take a risk and enjoy the lovely chanterelles. I ate them all in one sitting as the mainstay of my dinner, with just a little chicken on the side. They were SO good. And then (you already know this is coming) I spent today nursing a migraine all day until tonight. The good news is that I'm fine now and didn't get deathly sick or die. But the bad news is that it was one of those "lost" days. Handling the migraine was all I could manage.

Lost days are tough for me because I'm time-greedy. Really really greedy. Like some people are for money. I'm really that bad. I love when other people cancel appointments with me and are grateful that I understand...it is so easy for me to understand, because they've given me a gift. It's like found money, just out of nowhere and I can do whatever I want with it.

I'm not a thief, but I would steal time if I could. I don't know how that would happen, but if I could figure out how I probably would.

I guard my time. I am a generous person in many ways, but not with time. I find it almost impossible to volunteer for things, which I'm ashamed of, but there it is. I admire people who give their time away, because they are truly generous, as time is so precious it can never be replaced, whereas money can be.

I marvel at people who get bored. I cannot relate to this at all. There are so many wonderful things to do, and so little time--in my experience.

I would like to feel "time abundant". It's quite doable for me to feel abundant when it comes to finances, or to health, or with respect to relationships. But time abundance still eludes me.

What do you think about time-greediness? Can you relate?


patti said...

Sorry to hear about your mushroom experience O, at least you really enjoyed eating them before the headache hit!

I am with you in that there is always something worthwhile to fill time with. Boredom is a cue for me to get creative about what to do next. I guess we just have to prioritize what's important to us and work around those decisions.

When I fell down the stairs recently injuring my ankle, I was like you, initially upset about losing a days to sitting around with my leg up on pillows. In the end I just decided to enjoy the respite - watching movies, sleeping. I guess it's all how you choose to look at it. Healing takes time and we must allow it to take it's course.

I stumbled upon a post over at the Abundance Blog on 'The Elasticity of Time' Parts 1 - 4, that you may be interested in reading;


thailandchani said...

I get what you mean. Totally. I'm greedy - or perhaps I should say "protective of" - time, too. Far too many years of giving my time involuntarily to employers has led me to be that way. Giving up time is hard, even when it's something I really want to do. Yep. I completely get you ...

Time is true freedom. Not money.


Anonymous said...

Have you ever read the book by Michael Ende, 'Momo'? It's about time thieves and I quote it several times in my new book, The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World. Looking forward to your thoughts. Great blog you have here!

Heather Plett said...

Interesting. I've never put it in those words, but I can definitely relate. I go a little crazy when I go through a stretch (like this week) when I give away all of my time to my kids, my husband, my employees, etc. Time to take some back!

Another book I really enjoyed was "In Praise of Slow".

Anonymous said...

I think I know what you mean by time greediness, because I also have had that "Oh thank goodness" feeling when something was cancelled. In fact, I used to get that feeling every time anything was cancelled. However, I have not had that feeling very much at all over the past few years. I suspect this has to do with my learning better boundary skills, not over-committing, learning to say no and learning only to say yes to the things I really want to do. It also probably has to do with getting to know myself so well that when it's time for that initial commitment, I also ask myself, "you feel like saying yes today, but when 7:00 rolls around on Saturday night, will you regret having said yes to this then???" So I've learned to peek into my own crystal ball, imagine myself in the future, and thereby reach a more realistic view of what I should and shouldn't be committing myself to.