Tuesday, October 4, 2011
My Professional Plans And NaNoWriMo
Believe it or not, I intended to blog "almost" daily, and here it is again almost another week having passed...I am not as organized nor as on top of things as I've been, I'm afraid.
Well, I'm at a point in my life in which I need to return to work, probably by next year sometime. So it's not really soon, but I can't delay forever. I need to be at least thinking about it now. As I see it, I have five main choices:
(1) Go back to being a Life Coach.
If I did this option, I could make the most money, but it takes a lot of energy and verve to be an entrepreneur, and I'm more in a self-healing mode right now, so I don't know about this one. Also on the plus side, I could work from home, and things are so beautiful and peaceful here. In addition, I could see myself doing this for the long haul. I already know how I would coach, but I'd need to freshen up my credentials and get a bit more training, too. This option would take a lot of effort to implement.
(2) Be Underemployed.
I like this one. It would be almost effortless. It would involve getting an easy job of some type, temporarily and just for the money until the point would come where I could launch something bigger. This honors the healing mode I'm in. Such jobs can stifle creativity though (at least for me), so I wouldn't want to get stuck there for years and years. When I'm stuck in this way it can be hard to summon the energy to live a bigger life. I am not a high-energy person, and this could leave me in a stagnant place unable to get out.
(3) Write.
This is my dream job, and one that really doesn't involve money unless I have the luxury of waiting for an indefinite period of time, because I don't want to write articles--I want to write novels. On the one hand, I love the contemplative lifestyle, I could work from home, and many people think this is what I should do. On the other hand, who actually makes money as a writer, and can I be one of those very few people?
(4) Something Else.
This is something I haven't thought of yet.
(5) Some Combination of the above.
I thrive with a single focus, am not too good with multi-tasking. However, it's possible.
If I take Oprah's advice that she gave recently in an interview at Facebook headquarters, there is one clear choice for me. Oprah said that she was scared to death of starting her own television network. She asked herself, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" (That old standby coaching question!) Then it was easy for her to know how to proceed--of course, she would start her own television network.
So if I ask myself that same question, the clear choice (and also the one I am most afraid of) is option number (3). To explore it I am thinking that I may enter NaNoWriMo again. NaNoWriMo is a creative writing project in which people all over the world (over 200,000 people) join together and write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. It is an annual contest. You win if you finish. I did it once back in 2007, and loved it. From that time, I have the first half of a novel--a draft--but a pretty decent one, I think.
After NaNoWriMo I was all charged up to write. I ended up writing a non-fiction book for a charity that may ultimately get published someday, but for that for now is in limbo. I spent a lot of time writing that book, and oodles of money getting it edited, and it has languished. I suspect it may never be published. I can't afford for that to happen again--have a book be a money pit. I learned a lot from that experience though.
So, to get things fired up again, I'm thinking that I may just do NaNoWriMo next month. I could end up with a completed draft of a book. I'd be writing part two of that book I wrote four years ago. It would only be one month out of my life and I'd learn if the person I am today enjoys that kind of work, fun, and intensity. I'd also learn if what I write could be any good and make any money, even a nominal amount. That would be useful feedback.
So what do you think? I really value your opinions; everyone thinks so differently and I find much insight in the advice of wise friends (you).
~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Delving into "The Space Below"
in the space below - in the depths of deep - that the real stuff was.
and it was there she needed to go. ”
Friday, November 12, 2010
Lessons From Brazil: Lesson #4: I Need To Write
When I traveled to Brazil a couple of weeks ago and fasted from technology, I wrote every single day, almost all the time I could, up to 6 hours a day. I wrote on all the planes, I wrote in my hotel in Miami, I wrote on my balcony in the posada in Brazil. I wrote every second I could get. I processed everything that happened.
I got a new Moleskine just for the trip, stamped it up, put washimatta tape all over it, and wrote in pencil. Writing in pencil is a pattern-breaker for me and so much fun. I'm definitely a fountain pen girl, so it was exciting to just write with an old-fashioned school pencil and keep sharpening it. I have continued this since I've been back, for much less time of course. I processed everything that happened to me, journaled about it all and asked myself other questions too--questions that would just pop up as I was writing. Here are some:
(1) What does it mean to live life as "valid" versus as an invalid?
(2) Will I go to ___'s funeral? Why or why not?
(3) Is it better to stand up for this person when they're railroaded by a bully when the bully will be offended and retaliate or is it better to handle everything privately behind the scenes?
(4) Do I confront ___ and ___ when they lie to me? Do I just let it go? Do I laugh and move on?
(5) What would it mean for me to "die with my song inside me"?
(6) How do I totally let go of my need to be a victim?
(7) Why does someone choose to live to hate? What do they get out of devoting their life to hate?
I would go back and answer those questions when I ran out of things to write in the main part of the journal.
Some of these questions are things that Chani and I would talk about. Now I journal about them.
I overdid it a bit on the trip but I'm glad that I did, because I have been resisting making time for simple journaling. I missed it. I do believe it is a need for me and not a want. Whatever it is, it is something I will continue to make time for.
Do you journal regularly, in addition to blogging?
Friday, October 22, 2010
For All Writers
"Write every day, line by line, page by page, hour by hour. Do this despite fear. For above all else, beyond imagination and skill, what the world asks of you is courage, courage to risk rejection, ridicule and failure. As you follow the quest for stories told with meaning and beauty, study thoughtfully but write boldly. Then, like the hero of the fable, your dance will dazzle the world." ~Robert McKee
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wellness Wednesday: More Time Explorations
As I've been learning how to experience time as my friend I've discovered a few things. First of all, I'm absolutely on the right road and am just glad to be here. I am totally committed to this lifestyle, and benefiting from it on a day-by-day basis.
I've been hard at work on my book and have been able to create the time to enjoy immersing myself in it. It's required me to give up a lot, but I haven't sacrificed anything. I consider what I've gained worth every bit of what I've given up.
I've tweaked my schedule and cut out more "allowed television programs". I initially allowed myself certain favorite shows that I thought would help my writing or help me greatly in relaxing. Now, some seem to not be so important, and 14-18 hours of television per week seems like way too much. Yes, believe it or not, that's what I'd cut it down to. I won't tell you what I was watching before. I do watch television when I eat, because I only eat about two meals per week with LoveHubbie, and I don't like to eat alone. So this of course includes eating time. That makes it sound a bit better, doesn't it? Well, now I'm down to 7-13 hours per week. That feels much better and it's pretty much only when I eat. At night, instead, I read.
Write down for yourself the shows you allow yourself to watch; you may be as surprised as I was!
I've turned down social obligations that were true obligations instead of joy. This is helping me to have a good holiday season, because I never liked the different parties we attended in the past. There is one in particular I've disliked, a Christmas Tree Festival. People get dressed up in formalwear and go out and eat and drink and bid in an auction on forty or so Christmas trees decorated by different organizations. It is a fund-raiser, so everything goes for exorbitant prices. Then all of the proceeds go to charity. It's a way for people to give that I suppose is fun for many people. The auction goes on for about 5 hours. There is a lead up to the auction and then a wind down. Although you can meet lots of interesting people, and the Christmas trees are creative and pretty, you can't really talk for most of it as the auction is pretty loud and overwhelming for my INFJ-ness once it starts. It is a long night and recovery the next day. This year we'll just give the money outright where we want to.
I've found that it helps for me to work on Saturdays to make up for time I inadvertently miss during the week. LoveHubbie works on Saturdays, so it works out for us. I take off every Sunday for a sabbath rest. I also take off about a half day during the week and work on decluttering and other household chores.
It helps enormously in writing a book about Hawaii to immerse myself in the Hawaiian history for an entire day on an ongoing basis. The writing flows, and I can make connections easier between historical events. Before I'd write for a couple of hours on a given day, then not write anything more on the project for a week or two. Then again I'd write for a few hours, and weeks would go by. I never allowed myself to get into the space of writing on this topic long enough for it to do any real good. I'd forget the difference between Kaumuali`i and Keopuolani and Kauikeouli and Keali`iahonui and Kahekili and Keku`iapoiwa and Kekuiapoiwa. (These are all Hawaiian names and I am not fluent in Hawaiian! All the "K" names would blur.) Now the hands of the clock roll around in warp speed as I write, oblivious to anything but my adventures in the world of Hawaii long ago.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
~Photo of me on Dragon's Teeth Labyrinth in Kapalua, Maui. By LoveHubbie Mark.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sacred Life Sunday: Hidden Writing in Wreck This Journal

Saturday, October 25, 2008
For Writer Bloggers
This article by Andrew Sullivan is provocative---it's about blogging as an emerging literary form---and will be of interest to those of you who are writers. It's rather lengthy, but worth the time.When I have something like this, something that requires time or thought (like Chani's posts), I enjoy printing them out and reading them in a quiet place when I have time...or even sticking them in my purse in case I get caught with unexpected waiting somewhere.
Enjoy.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wordle
"Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text."
Of course, you can just make a list, and increase the frequency of words you want to appear larger. Then you can edit colors and more. Here is what I did:
And then this is what I created by plugging in the text from my most recent wordy post, "Sacred Sunday: Desperate for Joy":
What fun with words! To see what can be done, see other examples in the gallery or create your own...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Breathing Alone in Bellevue

Monday, April 28, 2008
At A Loss for Words...

Kristine, Carla, Lisa, ...and me.
Writer's block. In my case, it's because I care so darn much about what I'm writing about. I want to do a good job---a great job. Today I plunged in and actually worked for most of the day...so maybe my days of "block" are gone. I surely hope so.
~Picture by LoveHubbie Mark
Monday, April 14, 2008
News about Moku'ula
During my second week there I visited an organization called "Friends of Moku'ula" that was responsible for an incredible walking tour I'd been on 18 months or so before. I hadn't been able to forget about Moku'ula since I'd heard about it and wanted to visit the main offices and become a "Friend".
While there, my vision for Moku'ula was re-ignited. I visited with Akoni Akana,
an inspired kumu, Hawaiian cultural expert, and the Executive Director of the Friends of Moku'ula. Moku'ula is a sacred site to the people of Hawaii; it was the spiritual and political center of the Hawaiian Kingdom for hundreds of years. Due to years of cultural upheaval and the influence of missionaries, Moku'ula fell into disrepair and neglect. In the early 1900's it was even covered over and became a baseball field.
Interestingly, the covering over of Moku'ula preserved it.
Now, there is a grassroots effort to restore Moku'ula to the glory it once held and still holds in the hearts of many who love Hawaii. Akoni Akana has a vision for Moku'ula that will restore this vital archaeological site to its former significance, complete with a royal residence, auxillary buildings, a mausoleum, a pond fed by underground springs, educational historical and cultural exhibits, and and more. Even more important than the physical significance and restoration is the spiritual significance of Moku'ula. It symbolizes many Hawaiian values that were suppressed and that unknowing but effectively predatory visitors attempted to stamp out, but that live on nevertheless.

Akoni Akana asked me to help him to tell the story of Moku'ula. I am now writing a book with him about Moku'ula that will be for visitors and tourists and others, to help them to understand the power and significance of Moku'ula. It will tell the stories about Moku'ula that are so important, and that are on the verge of becoming forgotten.
We hope that the restoration of Moku'ula will accelerate as more and more people understand the importance of this vital historic site to the Hawaiian people. Non-Hawaiians too can benefit enormously from learning about and incorporating into their own world-view vital Hawaiian values, such as Lokahi (oneness), Malama (caring for), Pono (Balance), and so much more.
I am very, very honored and blessed to be involved in this project. Although I'll be putting my novel on the back burner for a while, in a way I won't, as the project will assist in my understanding of the Hawaiian people, language, and values in a way that will dramatically enrich my novel; my novel takes place in Maui, of course :)
This brings me one step closer to my dream of living in Maui, and gives me ties to loved ones there in Lahaina. It is more than a project for me...it is my heart.

~Pictures by LoveHubbie Mark (except for pictures of Akoni Akana...not sure where I found them...if you know, please let me know)
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
If You Love Books and Writing

I saw this quotation below on Enthusia Blogs and read it and loved it. It's Doris Lessing's acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Literature for 2007. It's long, but it's worth it, so if you can't read it now, mark it or print it out for later. I decided to include the full text because I didn't want to take the chance that you'd not pop over to her blog or to the Nobel site to read it :)
If you've already read it (it's been blogged about a bit---Google lists 88,500 hits) forgive me, but if you haven't, you'll want to...if you love books or if you love writing...or like most of us, if you love both.
Here it is:
On not winning the Nobel Prize
I am standing in a doorway looking through clouds of blowing dust to where I am told there is still uncut forest. Yesterday I drove through miles of stumps, and charred remains of fires where in '56 was the most wonderful forest I have ever seen, all destroyed. People have to eat. They have to get fuel for fires.
This is north west Zimbabwe early in the eighties, and I am visiting a friend who was a teacher in a school in London. He is here "to help Africa" as we put it. He is a gently idealistic soul and what he found here in this school shocked him into a depression, from which it was hard to recover. This school is like all the schools built after Independence. It consists of four large brick rooms side by side, put straight into the dust, one two three four, with a half room at one end, which is the library. In these classrooms are blackboards, but my friend keeps the chalks in his pocket, as otherwise they would be stolen. There is no atlas, or globe in the school, no textbooks, no exercise books, or biros, in the library are no books of the kind the pupils would like to read: they are tomes from American universities, hard even to lift, rejects from white libraries, detective stories, or with titles like 'Weekend in Paris' or 'Felicity Finds Love'.
There is a goat trying to find sustenance in some aged grass. The headmaster has embezzled the school funds and is suspended, arousing the question familiar to all of us but usually in more auguest contexts: How is it these people behave like this when they must know everyone is watching them?
My friend doesn't have any money because everyone, pupils and teachers, borrow from him when he is paid and will probably never pay it back. The pupils range from six to twenty-six, because some who did not get schooling earlier are here to make it up. Some pupils walk every morning many miles, rain or shine and across rivers. They cannot do homework because there is no electricity in the villages, and you can't study easily by the light of a burning log. The girls have to fetch water and cook when they get home from school and before they set off for school.
As I sit with my friend in his room, people drop shyly in, and all, everyone begs for books. "Please send us books when you get back to London". One man said, "They taught us to read but we have no books". Everybody I met, everyone, begged for books.
I was there some days. The dust blew past, water was short because the pumps had broken and the women were getting water from the river again.
Another idealistic teacher from England was rather ill after seeing what this "school" was like.
On the last day, it was end of term and they slaughtered the goat, and it was cut into mounds of bits and cooked in a great tin. This was the much looked forward to end of term feast, boiled goat and porridge. I drove away while it was going on, back through the charred remains and stumps of the forest.
I do not think many of the pupils of this school will get prizes.
Next day I am at a school in North London, a very good school, whose name we all know. It is a school for boys. Good buildings, and gardens.
These pupils have a visit from some well known person every week, and it is in the nature of things that these may be fathers, relatives, even mothers of the pupils. A visit from a celebrity is no big deal for them.
The school in the blowing dust of northwest Zimbabwe is in my mind, and I look at those mildly expectant faces and try to tell them about what I have seen in the last week. Classrooms without books, without text books, or an atlas, or even a map pinned up on a wall. A school where the teachers beg to be sent books to tell them how to teach, they being only eighteen or nineteen themselves, they beg for books. I tell these boys that everybody, everyone begs for books: "Please send us books". I am sure that everyone here, making a speech will know that moment when the faces you are looking at are blank. Your listeners cannot hear what you are saying: there are no images in their minds to match what you are telling them. In this case, of a school standing in dust clouds, where water is short, and where, at the end of term, a just killed goat cooked in a great pot is the end of term treat.
Is it really so impossible for them to imagine such bare poverty?
I do my best. They are polite.
I'm pretty sure of this lot there will be some who will win prizes.
Then, it is over, and I with the teachers, ask as always, how the library is, and if the pupils read. And here, in this privileged school, I hear what I always hear when I go to schools and even universities.
"You know how it is. A lot of the boys have never read at all, and the library is only half used."
"You know how it is." Yes, we indeed do know how it is. All of us.
We are in a fragmenting culture, where our certainties of even a few decades ago are questioned and where it is common for young men and women who have had years of education, to know nothing about the world, to have read nothing, knowing only some speciality or other, for instance, computers.
What has happened to us is an amazing invention, computers and the internet and TV, a revolution. This is not the first revolution we, the human race, has dealt with. The printing revolution, which did not take place in a matter of a few decades, but took much longer, changed our minds and ways of thinking. A foolhardy lot, we accepted it all, as we always do, never asked "What is going to happen to us now, with this invention of print?" And just as we never once stopped to ask, How are we, our minds, going to change with the new internet, which has seduced a whole generation into its inanities so that even quite reasonable people will confess that once they are hooked, it is hard to cut free, and they may find a whole day has passed in blogging and blugging etc.
Very recently, anyone even mildly educated would respect learning, education, and owe respect to our great store of literature. Of course we all know that when this happy state was with us, people would pretend to read, would pretend respect for learning, but it is on record that working men and women longed for books, and this is evidenced by the working men's libraries, institutes, colleges of the 18th and 19th centuries.
Reading, books, used to be part of a general education.
Older people, talking to young ones, must understand just how much of an education it was, reading, because the young ones know so much less. And if children cannot read, it is because they have not read.
But we all know this sad story.
But we do not know the end of it.
We think of the old adage, "Reading maketh a full man" – and forgetting about jokes to do with over-eating – reading makes a woman and a man full of information, of history, of all kinds of knowledge.
But we are not the only people in the world. Not long ago I was telephoned by a friend who said she had been in Zimbabwe, in a village where they had not eaten for three days, but they were talking about books and how to get them, about education.
I belong to a little organisation which started out with the intention of getting books into the villages. There was a group of people who in another connection had travelled Zimbabwe at its grass roots. They reported that the villages, unlike what people reported, are full of intelligent people, teachers retired, teachers on leave, children on holidays, old people. I myself paid for a little survey, of what people wanted to read, and found the results were the same as a Swedish survey, that I had not known about. People wanted to read what people in Europe want to read, if they read at all – novels of all kinds, science fiction, poetry, detective fiction, plays, Shakespeare, and the do-it-yourself books, like how to open a bank account, were low in the list. All of Shakespeare: they knew the name. A problem with finding books for villagers is that they don't know what is available, so a school set book, like the Mayor of Casterbridge, becomes popular because they know it is there. Animal Farm, for obvious reasons is the most popular of all novels.
Our little organisation got books from where we could, but remember that a good paperback from England cost a months wages: that was before Mugabe's reign of terror. Now with inflation, it would cost several years wages. But having taken a box of books out to a village – and remember there is a terrible shortage of petrol, the box will be greeted with tears. The library may be a plank under a tree on bricks. And within a week there will be literacy classes – people who can read teaching those who can't, citizenship class – and in one remote village, since there were no novels in Tonga, a couple of lads sat down to write novels in Tonga. There are six or so main languages in Zimbabwe and there are novels in all of them, violent, incestuous, full of crime and murder.
Our little organisation was supported from the very start by Norway, and then by Sweden. But without this kind of support our supplies of books would have dried up. Novels published in Zimbabwe, and, too, do-it-yourself books are sent out to people who thirst for them.
It is said that a people gets the government it deserves, but I do not think it is true of Zimbabwe. And we must remember that this respect and hunger for books comes, not from Mugabe's regime, but from the one before it, the whites. It is an astonishing phenomenon, this hunger for books, and it can be seen everywhere from Kenya down to the Cape of Good Hope.
This links up improbably with a fact: I was brought up in what was virtually a mud hut, thatched. This house has been built always, everywhere, where there are reeds or grass, suitable mud, poles for walls. Saxon England for example. The one I was brought up in had four rooms, one beside another, not one, and, the point is, it was full of books. Not only did my parents take books from England to Africa, but my mother ordered books from England for her children, books in great brown paper parcels which were the joy of my young life. A mud hut, but full of books.
And sometimes I get letters from people living in a village that might not have electricity or running water (just like our family in our elongated mud hut), "I shall be a writer too, because I've the same kind of house you were in."
But here is the difficulty. No.
Writing, writers, do not come out of houses without books.
There is the gap. There is the difficulty.
I have been looking at the speeches by some of your recent prizewinners. Take the magnificent Pamuk. He said his father had 1 500 books. His talent did not come out of the air, he was connected with the great tradition.
Take V.S. Naipaul. He mentions that the Indian Vedas were close behind the memory of his family. His father encouraged him to write. And when he got to England by right he used the British Library. So he was close to the great tradition.
Let us take John Coetzee. He was not only close to the great tradition, he was the tradition: he taught literature in Cape Town. And how sorry I am that I was never in one of his classes: taught by that wonderfully brave bold mind.
In order to write, in order to make literature, there must be a close connection with libraries, books, the Tradition.
I have a friend from Zimbabwe. A writer. Black – and that is to the point. He taught himself to read from the labels on jam jars, the labels on preserved fruit cans. He was brought up in an area I have driven through, an area for rural blacks. The earth is grit and gravel, there are low sparse bushes. The huts are poor, nothing like the good cared-for huts of the better off. A school – but like one I have described. He found a discarded children's encyclopaedia on a rubbish heap and learned from it.
On Independence in 1980 there was a group of good writers in Zimbabwe, truly a nest of singing birds. They were bred in old Southern Rhodesia, under the whites – the mission schools, the better schools. Writers are not made in Zimbabwe. Not easily, not under Mugabe.
All the writers had a difficult road to literacy, let alone being writers. I would say print on jam tins and discarded encyclopaedias were not uncommon. And we are talking about people hungering for standards of education they were a long way from. A hut or huts with many children – an overworked mother, a fight for food and clothing.
Yet despite these difficulties, writers came into being, and there is another thing we should remember. This was Zimbabwe, physically conquered less than a hundred years before. The grandfathers and grandmothers of these people might have been storytellers for their clan. The oral tradition. In one generation – two, the transition from stories remembered and passed on, to print, to books. What an achievement.
Books, literally wrested from rubbish heaps and the detritus of the white man's world. But you may have a sheaf of paper (not typescript – that is a book – but it has to find a publisher, who will then pay you, remain solvent, distribute the books. I have had several accounts sent to me of the publishing scene for Africa. Even in more privileged places like North Africa, with its different tradition, to talk of a publishing scene is a dream of possibilities.
Here I am talking about books never written, writers that could not make it because the publishers are not there. Voices unheard. It is not possible to estimate this great waste of talent, of potential. But even before that stage of a book's creation which demands a publisher, an advance, encouragement, there is something else lacking.
Writers are often asked, How do you write? With a processor? an electric typewriter? a quill? longhand? But the essential question is, "Have you found a space, that empty space, which should surround you when you write? Into that space, which is like a form of listening, of attention, will come the words, the words your characters will speak, ideas – inspiration.
If this writer cannot find this space, then poems and stories may be stillborn.
When writers talk to each other, what they ask each other is always to do with this space, this other time. "Have you found it? Are you holding it fast?"
Let us jump to an apparently very different scene. We are in London, one of the big cities. There is a new writer. We, cynically enquire, How are her boobs? Is she good-looking? If this is a man, Charismatic? Handsome? We joke but it is not a joke.
This new find is acclaimed, possibly given a lot of money. The buzzing of paparazzi begins in their poor ears. They are feted, lauded, whisked about the world. Us old ones, who have seen it all, are sorry for this neophyte, who has no idea of what is really happening.
He, she is flattered, pleased.
But ask in a year's time what he or she is thinking: I've heard them: "This is the worst thing that could have happened to me.
Some much publicised new writers haven't written again, or haven't written what they wanted to, meant to.
And we, the old ones, want to whisper into those innocent ears. "Have you still got your space? Your sole, your own and necessary place where your own voices may speak to you, you alone, where you may dream. Oh, hold onto it, don't let it go."
There must be some kind of education.
My mind is full of splendid memories of Africa which I can revive and look at when I want. How about those sunsets, gold and purple and orange, spreading across the sky at evening. How about butterflies and moths and bees on the aromatic bushes of the Kalahari? Or, sitting on the banks of the Zambesi, where it rolls between pale grassy banks, it being the dry season, dark-green and glossy, with all the birds of Africa around its banks. Yes, elephants, giraffes, lions and the rest, there were plenty of those, but how about the sky at night, still unpolluted, black and wonderful, full of restless stars.
But there are other memories. A young man, eighteen perhaps, is in tears, standing in his "library." A visiting American seeing a library without books, sent a crate, but this young man took each one out, reverently, and wrapped them in plastic. "But," we say, "these books were sent to be read, surely?" and he replied, "No, they will get dirty, and where will I get anymore?"
He wants us to send him books from England to teach him to teach. "I only did four years in the senior school" he begs, "But they never taught me to teach."
I have seen a Teacher in a school where there was no textbooks, not even a bit of chalk for the blackboard – it was stolen – teach his class of six to eighteen year olds by moving stones in the dust, chanting "Two times two is....." and so on. I have seen a girl, perhaps not more than twenty, similarly lacking textbooks, exercise books, biros – anything, teach the A, B, C in the dust with a stick, while the sun beat down and the dust swirled.
We are seeing here that great hunger for education in Africa, anywhere in the Third World, or whatever we call parts of the world where parents long to get an education for their children which will take them from poverty, to the advantage of an education.
Our education which is so threatened now.
I would like you to imagine yourselves, somewhere in Southern Africa, standing in an Indian store, in a poor area, in a time of bad drought. There is a line of people, mostly women, with every kind of container for water. This store gets a bowser of water every afternoon from the town and the people are waiting for this precious water.
The Indian is standing with the heels of his hands pressed down on the counter, and he is watching a black woman, who is bending over a wadge of paper that looks as if it has been torn out of a book. She is reading Anna Karenin.
She is reading slowly, mouthing the words. It looks a difficult book. This is a young woman with two little children clutching at her legs. She is pregnant. The Indian is distressed, because the young woman's headscarf, which should be white, is yellow with dust. Dust lies between her breasts and on her arms. This man is distressed because of the lines of people, all thirsty, but he doesn't have enough water for them. He is angry because he knows there are people dying out there, beyond the dust clouds. His brother, older, had been here holding the fort, but he had said he needed a break, had gone into town, really rather ill, because of the drought.
This man is curious. He says to the young woman. "What are you reading?"
"It is about Russia," says the girl.
"Do you know where Russia is?" He hardly knows himself.
The young woman looks straight at him, full of dignity though her eyes are red from dust, "I was best in the class. My teacher said, I was best."
The young woman resumes her reading: she wants to get to the end of the paragraph.
The Indian looks at the two little children and reaches for some Fanta, but the mother says "Fanta makes them thirsty."
The Indian knows he shouldn't do this but he reaches down to a great plastic container beside him, behind the counter and pours out two plastic mugs of water, which he hands to the children. He watches while the girl looks at her children drinking, her mouth moving. He gives her a mug of water. It hurts him to see her drinking it, so painfully thirsty is she.
Now she hands over to him a plastic water container, which he fills. The young woman and the children, watch him closely so that he doesn't spill any.
She is bending again over the book. She reads slowly but the paragraph fascinates her and she reads it again.
"Varenka, with her white kerchief over her black hair, surrounded by the children and gaily and good-humouredly busy with them, and at the same visibly excited at the possibility of an offer of marriage from a man she cared for, looked very attractive. Koznyshev walked by her side and kept casting admiring glances at her. Looking at her, he recalled all the delightful things he had heard from her lips, all the good he knew about her, and became more and more conscious that the feeling he had for her was something rare, something he had felt but once before, long, long ago, in his early youth. The joy of being near her increased step by step, and at last reached such a point that, as he put a huge birch mushroom with a slender stalk and up-curling top into her basket, he looked into her eyes and, noting the flush of glad and frightened agitation that suffused her face, he was confused himself, and in silence gave her a smile that said too much."
This lump of print is lying on the counter, together with some old copies of magazines, some pages of newspapers, girls in bikinis.
It is time for her to leave the haven of the Indian store, and set off back along the four miles to her village. It is time... outside the lines of waiting women clamour and complain. But still the Indian lingers. He knows what it will cost this girl – going back home, with the two clinging children. He would give her the piece of prose that so fascinates her, but he cannot really believe this splinter of a girl with her great belly can really understand it.
Why is perhaps a third of Anna Karenin stuck here on this counter in a remote Indian store? It is like this.
A certain high official, United Nations, as it happens, bought a copy of this novel in the bookshop when he set out on his journeys to cross several oceans and seas. On the plane, settled in his business class seat, he tore the book into three parts. He looks around at his fellow passengers as he does this, knowing he will see looks of shock, curiosity, but some of amusement. When he was settled, his seat belt tight, he said aloud to whoever could hear, "I always do this when I've a long trip. You don't want to have to hold up some heavy great book." The novel was a paperback, but, true, it is a long book. This man is well used to people listening when he spoke. "I always do this, travelling," he confided. "Travelling at all these days, is hard enough." And as soon as people were settling down, he opened his part of Anna Karenin, and read. When people looked his way, curiously or not, he confided in them. "No, it is really the only way to travel." He knew the novel, liked it, and this original mode of reading did add spice to what was after all a well known book.
When he reached the end of a section of the book, he called the airhostess, and sent it back to his secretary, travelling in the cheaper seats. This caused much interest, condemnation, certainly curiosity, every time a section of the great Russian novel arrived, mutilated, but readable, in the back part of the plane. Altogether, this clever way of reading Anna Karenin makes an impression, and probably no one there would forget it.
Meanwhile down in the Indian store, the young woman is holding onto the counter, her little children clinging to her skirts. She wears jeans, since she is a modern woman, but over them she had put on the heavy woollen skirt, part of traditional garb of her people: her children can easily cling onto it, the thick folds.
She sent a thankful look at the Indian, whom she knew liked her and was sorry for her, and she stepped out into the blowing clouds.
The children had gone past crying, and their throats were full of dust anyway.
This was hard, oh yes, it was hard, this stepping, one foot after another, through the dust that lay in soft deceiving mounds under her feet. Hard, hard – but she was used to hardship, was she not? Her mind was on the story she had been reading. She was thinking, "She is just like me, in her white headscarf, and she is looking after children, too. I could be her, that Russian girl. And the man there, he loves her and will ask her to marry him. (She had not finished more than that one paragraph) Yes, and a man will come for me, and take me away from all this, take me and the children, yes, he will love me and look after me."
She steps on. The can of water is heavy on her shoulders. On she goes. The children can hear the water slop in the can. Half way she stops, sets down the can. Her children are whimpering and touching the can. She thinks that she cannot open it, because dust would blow in. There is no way she can open the can until she gets home.
"Wait" she tells her children, "Wait"
She has to pull herself together and go on.
She thinks. My teacher said there was a library there, bigger than the supermarket, a big building and it is full of books. The young woman is smiling as she moves on, the dust blowing in her face. I am clever, she thinks. Teacher said I am clever. The cleverest in the school – she said I was. My children will be clever, like me. I will take them to the library, the place full of books, and they will go to school, and they will be teachers – my teacher told me I could be a teacher. They will be far from here, earning money. They will live near the big library and live a good life.
You may ask how that piece of the Russian novel ever ended up on that counter in the Indian store?
It would make a pretty story. Perhaps someone will tell it.
On goes that poor girl, held upright by thoughts of the water she would give her children once home, and drink a little herself. On she goes ... through the dreaded dusts of an African drought.
We are a jaded lot, we in our world – our threatened world. We are good for irony and even cynicism. Some words and ideas we hardly use, so worn out have they become. But we may want to restore some words that have lost their potency.
We have a treasure-house – a treasure – of literature, going back to the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans. It is all there, this wealth of literature, to be discovered again and again by whoever is lucky enough to come on it. A treasure. Suppose it did not exist. How impoverished, how empty we would be.
We own a legacy of languages, poems, histories, and it is not one that will ever be exhausted. It is there, always.
We have a bequest of stories, tales from the old storytellers, some of whose names we know, but some not. The storytellers go back and back, to a clearing in the forest where a great fire burns, and the old shamans dance and sing, for our heritage of stories began in fire, magic, the spirit world. And that is where it is held, today.
Ask any modern storyteller, and they will say there is always a moment when they are touched with fire, with what we like to call inspiration and this goes back and back to the beginning of our race, fire, ice and the great winds that shaped us and our world.
The storyteller is deep inside everyone of us. The story-maker is always with us. Let us suppose our world is attacked by war, by the horrors that we all of us easily imagine. Let us suppose floods wash through our cities, the seas rise ... but the storyteller will be there, for it is our imaginations which shape us, keep us, create us – for good and for ill. It is our stories, the storyteller, that will recreate us, when we are torn, hurt, even destroyed. It is the storyteller, the dream-maker, the myth-maker, that is our phoenix, what we are at our best, when we are our most creative.
That poor girl trudging through the dust, dreaming of an education for her children, do we think that we are better than she is – we, stuffed full of food, our cupboards full of clothes, stifling in our superfluities?
I think it is that girl and the women who were talking about books and an education when they had not eaten for three days, that may yet define us.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Finished NaNoWriMo
LoveHubbie and I are going out to eat to celebrate and I will attempt to blog this and post it later tonight. Ya'll can celebrate with us; I couldn't do it without your support! I'm sorry I've been behind commenting on your blogs, but I will catch up in the next couple of days.
I feel like a real writer now :)

This lovely collage was done by Karen Smithey and was my visual inspiration for BE BRAVE and NaNoWriMo. I wrote the text on it, which was composed by Karen. It says, "There were no railings to hold onto, nowhere safe to fall...so she kept on climbing..."
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sacred Sunday on Monday
I have been participating in NaNoWriMo, the writing project in which participants create a first draft of a novel in 30 days. We are currently on Day 12. To write 1,667 words in a day that fits into the structure of a novel is a challenge. To do it day after day after day after day is a phenomenal challenge. I have been keeping up, but after this weekend, the strain of keeping up each day became overwhelming and I finally gave myself permission today to take a day off. Sacred Sunday came and Sacred Sunday went, and I did what I do every day---write, write, write, write, write. I truly enjoy it, but I'm realizing that as part of my process I must build in breaks, time off, stress relief.

In addition, LoveHubbie was home all weekend. He normally works seven days a week, so it was a pattern break for both of us to have him home. And a monster challenge to keep up with my words each day. I felt like all weekend long I fought for writing time, fought to stay with my novel, while at the same time bearing with interruptions and still taking care of LoveHubbie, as well as planning in some LoveHubbie types of fun since things so seldom work out that he has time off. I woke up this morning tired and barren, my creative well bone dry. I knew that I had nothing to write from today and needed to feed my soul.
Thus today so far has involved doing some collage, getting caught up on the computer with you all--my supportive community, and eating a meal slowly. It will soon involve reading spiritual books and a quiet time and some exercise. All of these activities done slowly and without time pressure help me to pull myself together, and to feel like I have something in place to write from.

I clearly would be better off building this into my writing process. I will be exploring ways of doing this. I don't have any clear ideas. I can't imagine how people with children and full time jobs manage NaNoWriMo, and admire them for even attempting it!
In my writing process, I wake up each day (seven days a week) and begin writing right away. I enter at least 1667 words into my AlphaSmart Neo (named Kaiolohia), usually more, so that I can get to a good stopping place. Then I upload the words from Kaiolohia to a Word file and print it out. I edit it, and expand upon sections where I can. Then I print out a final copy and fit it into my existing manuscript. I have just over 30,000 words, which is something like 90 pages or so. I totally love doing this.
I know now that I'll continue doing this after NaNoWriMo, just not so intensely. Maybe I'll limit myself to two hours a day. Or just mornings M-F. But right now is the learning time, when I'm figuring out how I work and what I need in all of this. NaNoWriMo's founder, Chris Baty, has said to never take off more than one day in a row. I'm finding that I need to listen to my body and my creative spirit, since I tend to lean the other way, towards overdoing.

I've been thinking about perfectionism, too. I've been delaying perfectionism with this book, knowing that I'll have a chance to work towards a better draft later. It makes for a much more productive day. I love working with the AlphaSmart Neo, and want to keep this up. It is too hard to go back and make everything "just so" when you have a screen size a little larger than a calculator. I hope to always use it for writing.
I read at some point over the last week about "positive perfectionism" and "negative perfectionism". Negative perfectionism is trying to be perfect because we need approval, especially our own approval, and can't be without it. It feels like a burden. Positive perfectionism is continually improving and learning in the interests of mastery, and is joy-filled. I like this distinction. I am learning how to discriminate between the two.
The best thing about NaNoWriMo so far is that it has taught me that I love to write. This has been the greatest NaNoWriMo gift, although there are many after just 12 days!
I want to finish my first draft this month. The draft has to have the plot structure included--the beginning, middle and end. I plan to expand on it for three more months; it should double in length. And then take it to Hawaii in March and add special details to it while I'm there (my novel takes place in part in Hawaii). I think I can finish up in the spring. This is my work, and my joy!

To fully enjoy my work, I have to take at least a weekly sabbath, and I have to do more with my life than just write. I need time to renew and time to exercise, time to think and create. I don't mind at all just doing that and limiting my social activities, because secretly, just between you and me, doing so is a real treat for me, and a productivity booster for my writing.
I also want to get more serious about creating a Complaint-Free world. I've been just diddling with it, and it shows. I'm slowly becoming more aware, but not getting results anything like the people who are committed. I find that I need to be centered and grounded and live at a slower pace to do a good job with this.
Well, I'm off to continue my Monday sabbath. We're having a big storm here and it looks like there's a break in the action so that I can Nordic Walk. I enjoy being available for those weather breaks and darting out between the downpours to breath in the fresh northwest air, and the moist smells of the forest.
~Pictures by LoveHubbie, alteration by Me
Monday, October 8, 2007
BE BRAVE: Day 11: Stumbling in the Direction of My Heart
BE BRAVE, otherwise known as "Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You", is the title of the month-long project inspired by Jessie. I am participating daily for a month. Today is Day 11.Today, my BE BRAVE project was to set-up my AlphaSmart Neo, which I will be writing with for NaNoWriMo. It has been staring at me for over a week, and I’ve procrastinated in setting it up, because I was afraid that it would take too many steps, be way too hard and because I do not do well with computer things. Well, I was right---it has been complicated.
First I had to read the two user manuals. Then I assembled the AlphaSmart Neo and put the batteries in. Next, I installed the software on my desktop computer. The Neo is about as big as a very large calculator, and the screen does not easily lend itself to editing, so daily writing must be uploaded to a regular computer. So then I had to figure out how to upload this post (which I typed on my Neo) so that I could publish it.
It ends up that it’s a good thing I started today and didn’t wait any longer, because the Neo is a unique (although very user-friendly) device that has a particular specially-designed operating system (that I know nothing about), and interesting word processing software that is not Microsoft Word! I have to learn how to juggle the files, save files, upload files, and edit all of the data. I’ll need at least from now until November just to get used to it, so I’ll need to practice daily.

But today I got started, as this is a priority (defined by me yesterday). Yes, I did refurbish my "Could Do" list to make it facilitate my goal of being ready for NaNoWriMo in November! I am definitely moving (albeit stumbling) in the direction of my heart.
So today my goal was to get this up and published, and then tomorrow to begin learning the system, both the operating system and the word processing package. It will take me a while just to do the set up of the different system parameters and to go through the user manuals trying out the various skills with my Neo right there. This is a simple, simple system, but for me it is challenging because I have such an overwhelm and avoidance response to computer things.
The Neo is particularly great for writing, because it encourages volume writing, and Not editing what you write because the display is only a few lines. I have to say that I love the little thing---it is sweet. I'm going to name it :)
Also today I kept with my Health Grounding program except for the sleep again. I woke up energetic and happy after only six hours of sleep; however, I can see that my energy and mood need a bit of bolstering today so I’m going to go to bed early tonight. So far it seems like I’ve been averaging a healthy amount of sleep for me about every other night. I will improve this.

~Picture of Dahlia by LoveHubbie Mark
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Today I Got Two New Toys

Well, today was a red letter day. In preparation for NaNoWriMo (in which you write every day to complete a novel in a month) in November I ordered an Alphasmart Neo. I am unable to use laptop computers (the keyboards give me carpal tunnel) and the Alphasmart has a full size keyboard, which means I can write remotely. At last! Type remotely, that is...as in type quickly and do word counts, upload and download to a computer. In coffeeshops...outside...anywhere! Those of you with laptops may take this for granted, but I'm new to this so it opens a whole new world up to me.
The Neo is a sturdy word processor for people who want to do volume writing without a lot of editing; you're really supposed to do that on a regular computer where you can see the whole screen. It does autosaves of every word, is light like a calculator, and goes 700 hours on 3 AA batteries! If you purposely do not want to edit your writing and just produce---quickly and easily---and you don't want to spend a lot of money, the Neo is something you might enjoy.
I found out about it by reading Chris Baty's "No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days" a book I highly recommend for NaNoWriMo participants.
I made a deal with LoveHubbie that if I complete NaNoWriMo, he'll pay for the Neo, but if I fail to complete it, I'll have to pay for the Neo. More support for me in actually doing this :) I love this deal.
Then..then...Amazon sent me an email offering me a free...as in totally FREE...Flip Camcorder in order to do video reviews for them. I thought it was a joke at first. At last those 1433 reviews (as of today) I've done on Amazon are starting to pay off :) I'm intrigued by all of the creative possibilities of doing video reviews.
Reviewing books, kitchen appliances, music, tea, movies, electronic items, bedding, and pretty much everything else I've ever bought on Amazon or elsewhere is my #3 hobby, behind reading and walking. So I'm so thrilled to have this opportunity. I've never had a video recorder or camcorder before, so it's pretty, pretty cool.

~Pictures by LoveHubbie Mark from Lahaina, Maui
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Creative Moments

What readers have helped me with so far (see yesterday's post) is the idea of taking what time is available, even if it's just a few moments or minutes, and to use that to create. To dedicate some time daily to creative pursuits and to watch what happens. This is a perfect technique for me to try now.
Come the fall, I want to be caught up on my personal affairs, work, and projects enough to be able to devote several hours each morning and immerse myself in creative activities, primarily writing. I have read Walter Mosley's article in this month's O Magazine, entitled "This Year You Write Your Novel" (from his book with the same title), and wanted to share an excerpt that impacted me profoundly:
"The most important thing I've found about writing is that it is primarily an unconscious activity. What do I mean by this? I mean that a novel is larger than your head (or unconscious mind). The connections, moods, metaphors, and experiences that you call up while writing will come from a place deep inside you. Sometimes you will wonder who wrote those words. Sometimes you will be swept up by a fevered passion relating a convoluted journey through your protagonist's ragged heart. These moments are when you have connected to some deep place within you, a place that harbors the zeal that made you want to write to begin with.
The way you get to this unconscious place is by writing every day. Or not even writing. Some days you may be rewriting, rereading, or just sitting there scrolling back and forth through the text. This enough to bring you back into the dream of your story.
What, you ask, is the dream of a story? This is a mood and a continent of thought below your conscious mind---a place that you get closer to with each foray into the words and worlds of your novel.
You may have spent only an hour and a half working on the book, but the rest of the day will be rife with motive moments in your unconsciousness---moments in your mind, which will be mulling over the places your words have touched. While you sleep, mountains are moving deep within your psyche. When you wake up and return to the book, you will be amazed by the realization that you are further along than when you left off yesterday.
If you skip a day or more between your writing sessions, you mind will drift away from these deep moments of your story. You will find that you'll have to slog back to a place that would have been easily attained if only you wrote every day. "
This is what I want to do in the fall. Whether or not I ever finish my novel, whether or not it is ever published, I know I want to experience this---this inhabiting of the dream of my story, and moving in it, of writing from it. Walter Mosley writes three hours per day, which is what I would like to do this fall.
However, for now, with the time constraints I've chosen, I want to begin by having creative times even as moments! And having some creative time every day.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Time to Be Creative

I found this list of 150 Resources for Writers via Heather's blog, A Creative Journal. So many resources! I am overwhelmed by the number, and today despair of being able to use them, because I have so many petty, niggling tasks calling out my name.
A question I have for you:
How do you find time to be creative? How do you glean your creative time?
I am awed by the artwork and writing produced by some of you. I only work part-time and struggle to find time to create. How do you do it? Please comment. I would love to have a list of tips and ideas here!


