One of the Most Beautiful Things I've Ever Read

This amazing poem was written by Kate Swoboda of the blog Your Courageous Life. I loved it; it touched me in a million ways, and wanted to share it here with you. I know you will love it as much as I did. Here it is with her introductory comments, reproduced with permission:

"The trickiest places, I think, are in those tangled and triggered human relationships. In every moment, we have this opportunity when we interact with other people sharing this world with us to act with integrity, to face our choices about the experience we will have with someone else.

Whatever we see in the world, that is us, too. Cultivate a willingness to compassionately drop down into the zero center of someone else’s imperfection, and you’ll see their pain, and piece of your own. We are not so very different. We are far more alike than we often believe. With courageous hearts, we can change the world. So here goes:

In the face of complaints, look that person in the eye and imagine what it might have been like to be raised to see only what is wrong.

In the face of selfishness, wonder what it might be like to walk the world with a feeling of lack, of depletion.

In the face of insults, consider where this person first learned that it’s okay to abuse others.

In the face of disconnection, think about what causes it, and ask if your response will widen the river between the two of you.

In the face of laziness, recognize the fear of living big dreams.

In the face of extremism or fundamentalism, see the clinging, as well as the terror-filled silence that would arise for that person if they risked letting go.

In the face of controlling behavior, understand the chaos that must have bred it.

In the face of “always needing to be right,” see how often this person was once made wrong.

In the face of arrogance or bravado, hold gently that still, small piece that says “I’m not enough.”

In the face of drama or attention-seeking, see the person who wishes so much to be seen.

In the face of accusation, imagine what it might be like to live life with suspicion.

In the face of judgement or comparisons, step into the opportunity the world has just provided you for practicing love and acceptance.

In the face of passive-aggressiveness, recognize the child that wasn’t taught a safe way to express their truth.

In the face of anger, see the pain of isolation from others.

Most importantly: In the face of ferocious hatred, believe in the possibility that there exists the potential for equally as big, intense, lovely and fiery ferocious love.

Okay. That is my love letter to the world, for today.

~ Kate"


Thank you so very, very much, Kate!


~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

Life's Challenges

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."---Bernice Johnson Reagon, Musician via The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin

Receiving What Is Good

This post and picture are over a year old and were languishing off to the side, waiting to be posted and then forgotten. I recently found it and decided to post it after all.

It's never too late to be willing to receive what is good.

Actually, as I'm writing this, I realize it's never too late to be willing to receive, period. Whatever we are handed. If we believe that God (or the Universe, as I used to write) loves us, is in control, and wants the best for us--as I do--then we will receive everything that comes to our life.

All is ultimately God's good. All ultimately is part of God's plan to manifest goodness in our lives. Even when it's a struggle to see it.

"If we learn to think of receiving God's good as being an act of worship--cooperating with God's plan to manifest goodness in our lives--we can begin to let go of having to sabotage ourselves."---Julia Cameron

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

Some Deep Reading

This week I have been reading intensively, something I really enjoy. One project is two books for my counseling session, assigned by my counselor:

(1) Fear of Intimacy by Robert W. Firestone:

This is a challenging, confronting, and very technical book on psychodynamic psychotherapy. I have been journaling along with reading. It has been a lot of work, but it's helped me to see how very much I truly do fear intimacy. I think that on some level we all do. Identifying how I do and perhaps why has been very enlightening.


and (2) Love's Executioner: And Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom:

I haven't read this one yet (it is my weekend reading), but am looking forward to it, as it will most certainly be an easier read than the previous one. My counselor sure knows how to challenge me, and I like that.


In addition I am reading for fun: Jennifer Weiner's Fly Away Home: This is a light but relaxing and enjoyable read. It's the story--in different voices--of a senator's wife and her adult children after her husband has an affair that becomes public. It is not a romance, which I do not enjoy, but a tale about life and relationships that are real. I can really appreciate a heroine who is middle-aged as well.

Plus Creative Wildfire: An Introduction to Art Journaling: Basics and Beyond by L.K. Ludwig:

I am hoping that this will propel me back to creative work in the upcoming week. I know that many of you have already read this.


I have eight Amazon Vine books to catch up on too--all of them are good and of course--FREE! (I just have to write reviews of them.) After reading the heavy psychotherapy texts my reading speed will be up and I'm hoping these will go rather quickly. They are all my choice--books I've chosen and am looking forward to reading.

I am thrilled to be getting back to reading again, with gusto. I am pleased that I was able to make it happen this week, as I've missed reading so much. Household management isn't really my cup of tea, and although I have some tasks to do next week, most are minor. Instead I'm going to do a project I've been procrastinating about for months. I'll tell you about it soon...

What are you reading?

Happy Birthday, Kelly!

Today I want to wish my friend Kikipotamus the Hobo a very happy birthday. Not just today, but all year long!

I love you, Kelly

♥

Large Scale Household Management

I have been occupied with household management tasks lately and have not made time for creative pursuits. As in any creative pursuits. I hope to change this soon. This has included:

• Entertaining LoveHubbie's colleagues.
• Annual party at much-loved neighbor's house.
• Hiring out removal of insidious PNW weed (Scotch broom) from our fields (multi-day project involving brush hog and back hoe). 
• Hiring out dryer repair.
• Hiring out extensive handyman work including painting worn-off areas outside and fixing leaking windows.
• Hiring out electric work including but not limited to fixing clogged fans, fixing broken light switches and dimmers, new circuit for wall to accommodate increased amps, replacing broken lights on walkway.
• Hiring out refrigerator repair to save old refrig that is on last legs. 
• Hiring out twice-a-year window cleaning.

And last but not least, dealing with our gardener, we'll call her Sandy, who has been letting our garden go. Sandy's job has been to maintain the Brown Botanical Gardens since March. Which she has not done. I have spoken to her innumerable times, and she always agrees and then does whatever she wants. For Sandy, it seemed that tending the garden was just a job--she didn't really care about the living things--whether they lived or died. 

Finally in desperation I hired a "mow and blow" company to come into the botanical gardens and make the paths passable and cut away all of the dead debris--sort of a "spring cleanup" in the summer. This took three men three days! The dead stuff is now gone and there are big empty spaces everywhere but it looks sooo much better. And we can walk through and enjoy what is there and what is still living! 

Both LoveHubbie and my trusty assistant (who I will call Sylvia) have been wanting to let Sandy go for some time, but I had been dragging my feet. It's hard for me to let someone go who seems to want to work unless they do something(s) really bad. Sylvia wanted to help by doing the firing and winding up all the final details. Sylvia  knows a great deal about gardening and knew that this would be a positive move; in addition she wanted to help to remove the stress from both myself and LoveHubbie. Too, Sylvia has great intuition. 

I decided to let Sylvia do the firing start to finish. It was kind of hard for me to delegate something that felt very critical, but Sylvia handled it with aplomb; it gave me a chance to receive and not be constantly in control of everything. This ended up being a beautiful gift. The energy here is now very good.  I think the plants and trees and birds and flowers are all happy. 

So, now my challenge is to figure out a way to carve out space for the creative pursuits that are so important to me. I'm starting by updating here again :) Oh, and I found a blog I really like called The Tiny House Blog. Especially see this post--it just makes me h-a-p-p-y!

~Photos by LoveHubbie Mark all taken in the Olivia Brown Botanical Gardens 

Suzie Told Me I Was A Winner!

I really love being told I'm a winner.


Yes, it's true. I was the winner in the amazing Suzie the Foodie's $100 Shopping Spree Giveaway at CSNStores.com. I am grateful and happy. What was great synchronicity was that Suzie was on vacation at the beach and couldn't sleep, so she announced it at an odd time at night, and I was up as well. I saw her tweet and rushed to her site to be the first person congratulate the winner and then found out it was me! I have no idea what I will buy but I'll let you know. 


Suzie's blog has been so enjoyable for me to read for years, and I have watched her grow and bloom as a food writer despite many obstacles. My favorite thing about her blog is the stories she tells of how she makes each dish. I love how she tells exactly how she does each recipe, her beautiful photographs, and best of all how she recovers from so-called failures and what she learns. She has a special perspective on food and writing--a unique voice--that makes her blog one I never miss even though I currently don't cook with recipes (nor do I cook too much without recipes either). It's just plain fun to read! And Suzie is what makes it most special. 


So, visit, browse her site and you'll see what I mean!


~Photo from Suzie the Foodie's Blog

Introverted Travel

As an introvert I love to travel and enjoy the culture I am visiting. This may involve seeing some sites, but it is always paced so that I can absorb the culture, relax, and have a certain feeling rather than see certain things. This can be pretty hard to explain to people.

I lived in South Dakota for three years and never saw Mount Rushmore. I lived in Arizona for ten years and did not visit the Grand Canyon. I am fine with both and saw many other wonderful things in both states. I tend to stay away from crowds and group tours. I like to interact with local people and tourists when I'm stoked up on alone time, and tend to be very relaxed while doing so, mainly because I plan it that way and venture out only when I'm ready to interact with others.

One time my aunt and uncle visited me in Phoenix, Arizona. The three of us set out for the Grand Canyon and hit terrible traffic. We are all introverts. After a couple of hours in Flagstaff with traffic barely moving, we turned right around and went instead to the small ghost town of Jerome on the way back to Phoenix. We had a fantastic time. It was a precious experience for me to have an all-introvert travel experience! We all "got" each other.

Here are two articles I just found about introvert travel. If you're interested, they're both worth a read. Here is one and here is another.

I also like to visit places vicariously via pictures interpreted by friends' experiences, like Lori-Lyn's. More picture, Lori-Lyn! I'm missing my daily fix ♥

The picture you see above is the first of many from LoveHubbie of some lovely tulips that bloomed in our yard this past spring!

Alegria Shoes Nurture My Feet

Alegria Shoes have recently come into my life and changed it greatly. As many of you know, I have significant foot pain all the time. I bought my first pair of Alegria's a few weeks ago, and you wouldn't believe how comfortable they are. They have minimized my foot pain so that I can walk much farther. Plus, having to wear mostly orthopedic shoes, it's so nice to have shoes that are so pretty for a change--they call it "color therapy". For many years I've not been able to wear regular shoes and have settled for nice Dansko's that are too narrow and too tight (because my orthotics took up so much room). My Alegria's go with a lot and are practical, yet they are not plain and boring. Now that I know how great they are, I plan to venture out with future pairs into some of the more fun patterns.

I know that both Lori-Lyn (who likes Dansko's and is right now walking all over England) and Kelly Kikipotamus (who I likes Naots and others and is good to her feet) both like to wear sort of funky shoes like me, so I know you two will appreciate these especially. But everyone else too--consider them--this is a different kind of shoe company!

Alegria Shoes is a fairly new company that has had great success especially in the medical market (with doctors and nurses who are on their feet a lot) and--can you believe this--their average customer owns 8 to 11 pairs! I have 3 4 5 pairs so far. I had to force myself to be honest. Thank goodness LoveHubbie never reads my blog :) But what kind of shoe company has average customers owning so many shoes?

Alegria Shoes are mostly nicer shoes that you can comfortably walk in plus wear to almost anything nice. I wouldn't recommend them for hiking or activities like tennis or anything you'd do that was extremely aerobic or on uneven ground. They are great for office work, long walks in the city, long walks in the country that isn't hiking, formal occasions (at least I would wear them with a gown), and just around the house.

Alegrias accommodate a wide foot and are sized a bit large. They are roomy so that you can wiggle your toes in them. They are pretty expensive ($59.99 on sale to $100+ retail---but who pays that?), but a screaming deal for what you're getting. Good shoes aren't cheap. Their footbed molds to your foot, but can be removed and then does accommodate orthotics. They are quality through and through, every little detail.

You can get them from many places online, including Alegria Shoe Shop--they are currently having a sale on many closeouts for $59. There is a list of several online retailers here at their main web site under "Preferred Partners".  I always shop around. Order two pairs first if you're not sure what size you are, and return the one that doesn't fit (this is what I did as most online retailers offer free shipping and free returns). I am a 9.5W and fit a European 40 perfectly. I tried both a 39 and a 40 to be sure to get the correct size. Alegria's are also on ebay, but I have found the best deals at other places. You have to buy them new, because the footbed molds to your foot.

Here are some Alegria pictures (these are the shoes I have):

I adore my Alegria's!

Maui Giveaway Winner

Well, here at last I have a winner in the Maui Giveaway--Patti Bourne of bliss fruit in Australia! Congratulations on your win! Please send me your address, Patti. I am so happy to be able to give these lovely earrings to you. Thank you to everyone who participated.

Thank everyone for your support and loyalty as I continue to work towards being a regular blogger again. You all are what makes blogging worthwhile for me.

I love all of you!

LoveHubbie's Photos

LoveHubbie has been busy working, but I look forward to hopefully having some of his photos here soon. He hasn't spent much time in the garden, but I am looking forward to him doing so soon and having some lovely pictures to show you to go with my posts. The weather has been beautiful here in the Pacific Northwest.

Back to Blogging and Being Ourselves

This weekend I helped out with a memorial service at my church for the father of someone in my small group at church (which is called a Life Group). I didn't know her father at all, and actually know her only slightly, since I am new both to the church and to the Life Group. It was a great privilege to be there though. 


One reason that this was an honor for me was that when my Dad died, there were people at his church (which he was officially a member of at the time of his death but hadn't attended in a long time) who helped out with the funeral and the reception. They were so loving and kind and freed me up to mourn and visit with family. The didn't know me, and they may or may not have even known my Dad. They were a blessing. 


Another reason was that I just enjoy celebrating the life of someone who has passed; each life is special and I get to find out how when I hear stories about their life. In addition, it is a good time to contemplate the meaning of life in general and the significance of death. 


Normally when I attend a social function where women help, they are usually family functions and I hang out with the men. This is because the women are in the kitchen, cooking and preparing things according to their cultural traditions. I am not domestic at all, I eat differently from most people I know, and in such situations I never know what to do. So in order to not feel helpless and useless and lost, I visit with the men and talk--something I do know how to do. I often feel as though the women disapprove and that they judge me, as though I "should" know how to make marshmallow-canned fruit--jello salad or Rice Krispie treats. I "should" at least know how to bake "Duncan Hines" brownies! I do not. 


So when I was invited to help out at the memorial with the other women of my Life Group, I was very hesitant. I am so unconventional, and don't tend to fit in most places in general (especially in a church), so I was unsure about how to respond. I decided to be honest and open, rather than just decline to help. The group members seem to be transparent and real and honest themselves, so even though I'm new to the group, it seemed like the right thing to do. I told M, the leader, about my lack of conventional female-type skills. I told her that I was a "great follower" but that I had to be told exactly what to do (as in micro-steps). In most things, I gravitate strongly towards leadership, but not in areas that are completely foreign to me. Anyway, M was thrilled, as she likes to lead and expressed an interest in breaking things down for me. 


It ended up that I had a great time. M broke things down into ultra-micro-mini steps so that I didn't have to figure anything at all out. It was actually relaxing for me. M had pages of notes and details on what needed to be accomplished; she is a gifted administrator. We talked about this later. Her face lit up as she described how much she liked to organize things and work out details. She loved breaking things down into discrete and easily understandable steps. I really enjoyed the simplicity of following the steps and of knowing what my job was. 


At one point in the memorial when everyone was sitting and listening to a speaker, I went and stood with one of the ushers at the doorway and told him that he could sit down or get some coffee if he liked, and I'd man his position to assist any latecomers. He said no, that standing away from the people was "therapy" for him, as he didn't do too well in big groups. I said "Me, too!" So we stood together saying nothing. It was really nice. 


This was a rare social occasion in which I felt useful and free to just be myself. I could also enjoy the people who were there and the presentation on the life of the deceased. At the end of the memorial service, instead of being exhausted and craving time alone, I was energized and happy. I cannot think of a social occasion before in which this has happened. 


From this I thought about how unique we are all; God made us to work together while yet being ourselves. It was a beautiful time. 


Upcoming Post: Giveaway From Maui: Sign up if you have not yet done so. I really, truly am going to give these lovely earrings away, despite my procrastinating!

Wellness Wednesday: Life-Changing Wellness Seminar

About ten days ago I went to a really intense wellness seminar in Seattle. We all know about diet and how important it is to eat healthfully to have a good quality of life. We all know about exercise and how we need to keep moving in order to be able to stay mobile and healthy as we age. However, we often forget posture. I know that I did.

I have been plagued with back, neck, knee, and foot problems for years, so I had high expectations for this seminar from the Esther Gokhale Wellness Center. I was taking Gokhale Method 101, based upon the book I'd recently read, "8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back: Natural Posture Solutions for Pain in the Back, Neck, Shoulder, Hip, Knee, and Food (Remember When It Didn't Hurt)" by Esther Gokhale. This method is based upon how people throughout history have stood, have moved, and stayed healthy without all of the problems we experience in our post-industrial society. It is full of amazing pictures--a beautiful book that I've written a review of for Amazon here. If you go to the book on Amazon, you can use the "Look Inside" feature and see so much of the book (scroll down and you will see that there is a huge exerpt of the book, including pictures, that the author has made available).

Even if you just look at the pictures, I think you'll be impressed. You can actually see how differently people used to sit, stand, lie in bed, work, bend over, walk, and more.

I have begun integrating this posture practice into my life. Three days of classes were so very helpful, and now I need to follow up at home. The really good thing is that although there are some optional exercises for people like me (super out-of-shape with weak muscles)--for the most part this practice is done in the process of life itself and takes no extra time--while you're sitting, driving, moving about the house, working, playing, etc. There is also almost nothing to buy; there is an optional cushion that can help you stretch your back, but a towel or other support can be easily substituted instead. Also, there are free classes, online classes, and more.

This is not simply one person's ideas, but a new movement--a movement to help us return to some of the wise ways of our ancestors that led to health. It's really cool. I took a class in Seattle for which there was a fee, but my health problems are debilitating and I needed something intense and immediate to prevent much more money from being spent on other solutions.

Here are some pictures so that you can see some early changes in my way of moving. This picture is BEFORE, sitting normally (and up straight--I usually slump) on the edge of a chair:

This picture is two days later, after 9 hours of posture instruction:

This picture is BEFORE, standing normally. Note the swaying out in the upper back:

This picture is AFTER, standing normally. Note the straightness in the upper back:

No body cares too much about posture per se, but everyone cares about the benefits that good posture can bring. So if you'd like even more resources about this posture practice, here they are:

Can't Exercise at Work? Try StretchSitting (this is an article describing a particular posture practice in a bit of detail)

Video of Esther Gokhale talk at Google (this is a longer talk given for those of you who are very interested--it's wonderful though!)

Preview of book (8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back) on Google

Great book review along with picture of Esther Gokhale (the founder) bending as she sits (you can really, really see how Esther has an unconventionally healthy back)


I plan on continuing with this for a long, long time. I look forward to the health benefits that will ensue!

Giveaway from Maui

Yes, I am behind...but I hope today you won't care. I am giving away a lovely pair of silver Peruvian opal earrings* made by Cathy U'u of Kachi Jewelry of Maui. The earrings were handmade on Maui by Cathy herself. I bought these in March with the intention of them being a gift for my loyal blog readers (this is YOU); most of my readers are female, but the ones who are male would I'm sure love to win them to give to a special female in their life.

This giveaway is of substantial value, so I would like to give the to anyone who has ever left a comment on my blog before today. If that is you, leave another comment of any length below, and I will choose a winner sometime in May (I'm not sure when yet so enter today!). I'll close the contest when I get a good amount of my regular readers on board.

In case it's hard to tell from the picture, they are for pierced ears. They look like they might be heavy but they are not; they are very light! They remind me of the ocean and of the Maui sky.

~somewhat lame picture taken by Me of earrings with gift bag on my tv tray 




*NOTE: Ang says that Peruvian opals are reported as "helping to quiet the mind, ease stress and to help ideas flow freely".

Sacred Life Sunday: Life = Hope

Just remember that as long as there is life, there is hope.

There is always hope.

I have been deeply touched in the past several days not just by Chani's passing, but by the attempted suicide of a friend's family member, and by the unexpected and sudden passing of another friend's family member. I have been thinking about them a lot. Life is so precious, so fragile, so fleeting.

And so I'm reminding you (and me) again to tell those we love how we feel about them...

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark