Sacred Life Sunday: Rain

Here is a simple little video of the rain the other night. Just so you know I haven't disappeared from video altogether :) It is just 31 seconds long.



It is also raining today, and it feels like a blessing...

My Vase

Here are some pictures of the beautiful vase that I bought with the money I won in Suzie the Foodie's contest way back in July; I'm only now getting around to posting the picture of it. Here it is filled with stargazer lilies from my garden. It is gorgeous, and definitely more than I would ever spend on a vase myself, so it is a real treat. It's really heavy crystal, and looks beautiful no matter where you have it or what you put in it. Thank you again, Suzie!

Bloglines is Ending

To my subscribers in Bloglines, you may or may not know that Bloglines will no longer exist as of October 1st. I don't want to lose you!

I moved over to Google Reader. However, I will be announcing my new blog posts on Twitter and possibly Facebook (I'm not sure yet about Facebook). I still want to have RSS though--how do you feel about it? Do you still use RSS? If not, why not and what are the alternatives? I read an article that said that RSS was old-fashioned, but I have no idea what else I'd use. Any ideas?

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

Sacred Life Sunday: A Stroll Through My Garden

Even though I'm down with a cold, I enjoyed a lovely walk in the garden and thought you might too. This was made for my daughter-in-law and it is 4:21 long:

September 11th and Being Surprised By Hate

Since today is September 11th, I thought I'd write about something that has been really on my mind lately, and that is hate. It seems like hate is lurking in places I'd never expect, cropping up in surprising ways everywhere, including in me, despite my best intentions.

As a Christian, it is important to me to love my enemies. I think of an enemy not as someone I hate, but as someone who wants ill for me, who wants to see me fail, who rejoices at my misfortune; I do have enemies and I think we all do. So I am learning how to do that--to love them. I'm working on it.

It is also important to me to be kind always. I love the friends I have here online and the blogs I read, which have taught me a great deal about kindness. They continue to do so. Occasionally though I'll see hate crop up online, oftentimes from someone who is normally very loving. It always bothers me, makes me sad, and sometimes I speak up, hopefully in a sensitive and gentle way. I appreciate the times people have spoken up to me and have let me know when I've been less than loving.

So this week the preacher who wanted to burn the Korans spoke up and revealed the hate in his heart. Apparently his parishioners share his views as well. If my pastor wanted to do anything like that I would leave the church (running) and pray for his soul. The parishioners who remain are supportive of his views, at least at some level. It astounded me that someone could feel this way and not feel ashamed, but self-righteous. I've been trying to process it since I heard about it. I still am.

Then I found out that someone I know agrees with the preacher. This person is also a Christian. How does such hate live in a human heart? This person believed that the preacher was acting in an appropriate way because it was probably in response to the controversy about the mosque in NYC--which they thought made sense and was good. I was revolted and had a hard time finding compassion--it was a hunt--and I still do not understand.

A couple of weeks ago I was in my favorite coffee shop. Relaxing and reading and writing, getting a lot done. A new person arrived, an olive-skinned man who sat down in the center of the shop and began rapidly talking on a cell phone in an unfamiliar gutteral language. He was very loud and very, very angry. His discussion went on and on and his agitation became more pronounced. The culture of the coffee shop is that you leave when you make a call or else talk softly and briefly. Many people there are writing and working. This man ignored everyone and continued interminably.

He could have been a husband in a fight with his wife. He could have been an attorney outraged at an injustice venting uncontrollably in a coffee shop. However, in my mind he was a Muslim terrorist planning his next hit; I felt fear and hatred towards him. It all added up. I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Even though I knew it was just an idea, just fear, just hate--and nothing more. He kept getting louder and louder and no one stopped him. Thirty minutes went by. What man talks that fast for that long? When would he stop? Everyone at the coffee shop heard him, including the manager and workers, but no one said a word. I didn't either...because I didn't want to be seen as a racist.

Now had he been Caucasian, I definitely would have said something. I would have expected him to know the coffee shop's culture and to comply. As it was, I endured the fear and pain that his conversation triggered in me...and then finally he left. At last.

Feeling calmer, I thought about it, knowing that my imaginations were based totally upon fear and had no basis in reality. I know the difference between thoughts, projections, and what is actually going on. I thought about how many people don't know the difference between their fears and reality--not a clue. They don't know how to tell if something is true or is merely a projection based upon their past experiences. I felt glad that I knew what was happening even as it happened--sorry for the fear and judgment but happy to know that these were only fear-based thoughts indicating that I had some personal work to do!

It's still hate, but there is something that I can do about it. And identifying it as such protects others because I would never act upon it. I will work to rid myself of it.

For this preacher and his flock--they are trapped. Trapped in their thoughts and imaginings which are hateful and which seem so real to them. How can we get so off-base and not even know?

Today I pray for those people who hate--which is all of us--but pray that we will be drawn ever more to love each day for everyone, especially those who are different from us. I pray for me. And you. And that preacher.

~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

A Good Way To Approach the Day

"There is no way I can anticipate all the good things that are going to happen today"---Brian Narelle

~Quote via "The Awe-Manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder" by Jill Badonsky
~Photo by LoveHubbie Mark

Back Again

Once again, I have been allowing my blog to languish. I have many posts planned in my heads but have been procrastinating until...and the days just fly by.

LoveHubbie and I have been enjoying a wonderful and intense (in a good way) visit from our son D. It is a man vacation for the two men, and one that is very special as they haven't been alone together for more than a few minutes in almost a decade. D is in his early twenties, has been married just over a year, and is technically my stepson. Because of circumstances of his parent's divorce, it has never worked out for D or LoveHubbie to have father-son time like this. The vacation started out with four rapid-fire fishing trips, two on a lake, one in a large river, and one in the ocean. Lots of male bonding time and everyone had a great time.

I stayed home and enjoyed taking care of things on the home front and processing much of what has been happening.

I react in an interesting way to guests. We only have people stay in our home that we are crazy about. I enjoy them so much and really push myself to visit, because time is always limited and there never seems to be enough of it. I hate to go to bed each night because it means our interactions are ending for the day. Often the next day, I'm exhausted, but then I push myself to have lots of together time because I want to be around my company. And...you can guess what always happens...I crash and my body protests by getting ill, even to the point once (with my closest friend) of getting shingles.

So this time has been terrific. D is staying for over a week, which we're thrilled about, so there isn't as much time pressure. And too, being alone while they are out doing man things helps me to process and nurture my inner hermit and extreme introversion (which I see as getting my energy from being alone).

Special thank you's are in order to J, who is D's wonderful young bride who was willing to let her husband go on a long vacation with his father. And to LoveHubbie's staff who keeps the office running while he is away. To LoveHubbie's fishing buddy and his fishing buddy's wife who have helped this dynamic duo out so much, including helping out when they forgot their worms and supplying them with delicious chicken sandwiches. And while I'm at it, special thank you's to all of the many people who support us in different ways, including you, my blogging friends, who are always there and who share your caring for me in so many ways. And an extra special thank you to Kelly, for always noticing when I go into hiding and gently calling me out.

A Cartoon

I found this cartoon languishing in my list of unpublished posts from several years ago. It's still good!




~From my friend Valerie Burke of Shelton, WA

Wellness Wednesday: Being With Each Flower, What is More Important?

Today I read something beautiful on Kelly's blog that caused me to think, to really reevaluate and reframe something in my life. Kelly wrote that she was grateful for:

“Being wrapped all day in the kind of energy that made people open to me like flowers in the rain.” 

What a lovely thing to be, what a lovely gift to give people--this kind of energy that makes people feel comfortable enough to share themselves with you.

All of my life, I have struggled with this gift. It is a gift from God, nothing that I've cultivated or would even know how to develop. On the one hand I have enjoyed this closeness with others, delighted in it, reveled in it, when it has been with someone with whom I've wanted to be intimate. On the other hand, sometimes it is time-consuming or awkward or (to my embarrassment) even irritating when I am in a hurry and someone I barely know opens up to me and share deeply personal "stories of their lives", their deep feelings.

This gift is what led me to go to graduate school to become a counselor. I never finished, though, instead leaving school without doing a practicum and finishing my masters in another field, because I found it too draining to relate to people on that level all day long. I am very introverted, and although I care deeply for others, I need a great deal of time alone to process and recharge in order to be able to interact at that level. I also am not a particularly patient person, not a good thing for a counselor.

Lately over the last several years as I've experienced time as being scarce much of the time, it has been harder and harder to be welcoming when some people open up. People I meet casually, chance encounters that won't be repeated, people that I'd not choose to be intimate with. I usually still do listen and witness their story (trying to be "nice"), but find myself thinking thoughts like, "I can't believe this is happening to me again..." and "They're going to share their whole life story with me now right when I'm on my way to..." Complaining thoughts, I've realized. From the resentment I feel. This is not who I want to be.

In pondering Kelly's post, I've realized that deep down inside, I believe--I know--that every single person is indeed a flower, and that one of the most important things I can do each and every day is to witness their opening. To be present with everyone I meet. If they feel safe with me (and they are safe), then this is a bold, brave gift that I'm being given, and I want to recognize it as such. I need to slow down and stay in touch with what I truly value rather than be distracted by the urgency of comparatively petty tasks.

I always learn so much from Kelly, and this was a special lesson, one I really needed today.


~Photograph by LoveHubbie Mark

Art In Hair

The last time I had my hair done, I had it colored brown (its real color before the gray) with blond highlights and bright red highlights. It looked great when I walked out of the salon and then appalling after that. So I went back. My hairdresser is a young woman named Stephanie and she is only 21 years old. She went to a high school that let her train in hair design while she was in school so that she could begin working while she was still taking classes. Thus, by 18 she had a lot of experience. She is an artist.

Stephanie showed me how to fix my hair to work with the highlights and I've been thrilled ever since. This coming weekend it will already have been a couple of months and I'm having my hair color again refreshed (as in roots touched up).

Now, many hairstylists would not believe me when I'd say I want something stylish yet wild and edgy. They give me a conservative matronly haircut and color.

Not so, I say! I want to brighten up when I look in the mirror and not be bored. I don't care about fitting in. I don't wear makeup except lipstick, so I need some color in my hair! Stephanie gets this.

I have been looking at pictures of friends' hair and loving it. Kelly and Carla are short and sweet and sexy. Lori-lyn is passionately red. Kate is natural and luxurious. Jane is long and lovely. Each one of you is so beautiful.

Sacred Life Sunday: Cherishing My Life With Joy (Revisited)

Portions of this post were previously posted on Sunday, July 20, 2008--over two years ago! I wanted to update it for this Sacred Life Sunday. I still love the two quotes that were featured, and want to add one now that I am a Christian, which is:

 "...The joy of the Lord is my strength."--Nehemiah 8:10

This verse has meant so much to me as I've discovered a whole new--dimension, sort of--to joy. It completes this post from the past. So here is my post:

"I read this marvelous quote in a book I'm reading called "When You're Falling, Dive" by Mark Matousek. It has stayed with me, and I think I'm going to take it as my mantra for depression recovery:

"I don't have to earn my life anymore. It was given to me to cherish as I would a precious gift from someone who loves me and whom I love."---Jim Curtan

This same Jim Curtan also, referring to what he realized at a retreat, said:

"God said my job was joy. But joy is not just about being happy. Joy is a rigorous spiritual practice of saying yes to life on life's terms."

Drop dead profound.

And in the spirit of joy, and to counterbalance the lately more sad posts at the happyluau, here are some joy-filled pictures I've been saving to share with you. They didn't seem to go with any of my previous posts this week, but they will fit with this one!






~The two photos above are from Cute Overload, the happy hamster and the happy dog.




~This photo of the happy nuns is from this blog."

Abysmal Reading Statistics

Two years ago I blogged about how one in four Americans doesn't read even one book in a whole year. That statistic shocked me. Well, there are worse statistics available. Way, way worse. I read about them on Don Miller's blog and they are from Para Publishing. If you want to follow up on any of these or read other statistics about books, publishing, or reading, there is a great deal of information there.

Here are some of the statistics reported by Don Miller: 

1/3 of high school graduates never read a book for the rest of their lives

42% of college graduates never read a book for the rest of their lives

70% of U.S. adults have not stopped into a bookstore in the last five years

80% of American families did not purchase or read a book in the last year

These statistics are alarming to me. I cannot imagine how the non-readers and non-reading families are functioning without reading, without thinking about what they've read, without talking about books and ideas, without learning in depth about many different new ideas, without getting involved in stories that aren't fed to them as they are in movies, and without being exposed to experiences outside of their own. How do they do it? How do they process their lives? How do they grow? This is something I simply don't understand. 

I love movies and television, but they are no substitute for reading. I just don't understand this. 

Well, in perusing the data from Para Publishing, I notice that there are a wide variety of statistics there with results varying wildly. So these may not be totally accurate. Still, none of the statistics are good or indicate that we here in America are readers. Very sad. 

LoveHubbie only reads a few books a year. I've noticed that he has lost his ability to "enter into" a book to the point where the world fades away and he is "in" the story--unless it is a very highly interesting book to him. Also, his reading speed is way, way down, making reading more of a chore. He is often so tired from working that it is just too hard to read. Usually all this begins to change when we take a long vacation. I see his non-reading as work-induced and as temporary--he could change this in the future when he retires or when he cuts back on his work schedule or when pigs fly. 

If any of you are non-book readers, I'd love to know more about why you don't enjoy books. Also, if you've ever known anyone who doesn't read, I'd love to hear about it. 

~Photo from freefoto.com

Okay, Some More Household News

So this crew from One Hour Heating and Air-Conditioning is working with their sister company, Mr. Sparky to put in a furnace, air-conditioning system, and generator in our house. I've written about it here. There are some unusual things about this company that I wanted to blog about.

First of all, they don't charge by the hour, but by the job. And they break it down into parts so that you can choose what services you want just like a menu at a restaurant, based on how much you want and what you can afford. They have to come on time, or you get the job for free. And they must wear shoe booties in your house. My clean hardwood floors like that and so do I. They are very clean--they clean up after themselves and leave no damage or dirt behind. They must be professional and treat you with respect at all times--if they even swear you get either the job for free or several hundred dollars off. They're kind of quiet too...I mean, for contractor-type people doing repairs.

I like them.

They both have franchises all over, so if you're looking for someone good, check these companies out. Check out their rating with the Better Business Bureau too, as they are rated very highly here.

More Household News

So I have just been taking care of interesting household tasks lately, while also trying in vain to fit in book reviews. The household tasks have been many.

As an aside, I chose this beautiful vase on the left as a prize in Suzie the Foodie's drawing last month. I won a $100 gift certificate in her giveaway and I decided that instead of choosing something to cook with that may not get much use (sorry, Suzie..I know you understand) I'd instead get a pitcher/vase. We have gorgeous roses in our rose garden and this would be a lovely more formal type vase to hold them. Throughout the summer I have fragrant roses in my house! The vase was out of stock so I've been waiting for it, and it finally came in! Thank you, Suzie and CSN Stores. I eagerly await it.

I finally finished the initial application for my Brazil trip visa this fall, thanks to my hard-working assistant Sylvia, plus some help from LoveHubbie, as well as our relatives in Brazil. We all worked together this week to finish things up. This was great.

Also our refrigerator broke and so, with the assistance of the appliance repairman, we had to haul it outside for several days to defrost so that he could fix it. We now have the refrigerator back in place again, and hopefully it will work long term. It will be nice to have ice for the hot days again.

Monday night LoveHubbie decided we'd get heating and air conditioning installed in our house. We have been thinking about this for a few years, but suddenly and unexpectedly decided to take the plunge. We've had no central air conditioning (just a little window a/c in our bedroom) all along here, and in the winter we've just used a wood stove for heat--no furnace. When the power goes out, as it often does, we have a small gasoline powered generator that LoveHubbie fires up and keeps pouring gas. Summers feel pretty hot here and winters are not just cold, but involve lots of hauling of wood, plus sooty residue, soot-stained walls and ceilings, poor air quality, and power outages at unpredictable times. So we're getting an entire system of furnace, air conditioning, generator, and a propane tank. I can hardly believe it! Two days hasn't been enough time to adjust to the good news and the big changes. A crew is coming tomorrow and they're going to get it done fast--in only four days! My head is spinning from how different my life will be.

Yesterday I went to LoveHubbie's office and gave the employees a presentation on their new health insurance. Our old plan was discontinued. Now we pay much more for far less benefits. We have the best plan available in our area, but even so, I think it is substandard, and much less than we had before. Health insurance is the only product I can think of that stays in business by offering less and less every year for more and more money. And the insurance companies continue to show large profits even in this economy.

I'd love to have some profound thoughts to share with you, or something exciting to write about. Instead, it's just pretty mundane household stuff. I will plan for some more interesting posts :) Although, honestly, I'm really, really excited to live independently of the weather. It's something I used to take for granted, but not anymore.

~The photo of the building is actually our barn, not our house, taken by LoveHubbie. I thought I'd post the more rustic looking barn to be...funny :)

Tackling International Travel

Early on this week, I tackled a project that I've been procrastinating on: international travel to a family wedding in Brazil. I'm so excited about the wedding, as it is for my favorite family member, whom I'll call Darren. LoveHubbie and I are just crazy about Darren and his fiance, but making the arrangements is something that I've had enormous resistance to, so much so that I wondered how in the world I would ever make this happen. I've been procrastinating about it for months, and so finally decided to make it a "Be Brave" project this past Monday and Tuesday.

It may seem silly to have something so routine for many people be a Be Brave project. But that's how Be Brave things are--specific to each individual. There is so much about this trip that evokes enormous fear in me, and if it were anything or anyone else I just wouldn't do it.

To start with, there is the crime and danger in the areas of Brazil we are traveling to. Our close friends traveled to Brazil a few years ago and although they are seasoned travelers and very, very tough and savvy, they were robbed on the street. Add to this complete unfamiliarity with Brazil as a country--everything from the language to the culture and more (although this could be rectified, of course, with some study). Add in a very long plane trip of multiple legs with LoveHubbie's plethora of health issues that must be worked around. Staying in touch with LoveHubbie's business while traveling.  Taking just carry-on luggage instead of my usual multiple extra-large suitcases whenever I go anywhere. No computer. No phone. No jewelry. No wedding ring. Severe mosquito allergy. Migraines without a pristine diet. And getting there and back in a week.

So, I got some support (my assistant Sylvia) and we dug in on Monday. I estimated 10 man hours to do the whole thing. First we made up a calendar and selected days to travel and planned LoveHubbie's business on either side of the trip. Then we broke up the trip into two sections, one from Seattle to Miami (which takes a full day), and the second from Miami to the town of Salvador in Brazil (another day). We wanted to spend a night in Miami going there and returning to break up the trip and making it easier and less stressful.

Then we needed to make the flight arrangements. We need airline tickets and hotel reservations before we can get an agent to apply for an appointment to get our visas. Yes, really. It is a many step process.

We first priced plane tickets online to get an idea of how much things cost. Then we called the travel agent in Florida who had helped other family members easily make airline reservations. Unfortunately the agent was unable to help us, as there were some flights still available, but none with seats available on the dates we wanted to fly. Alternatively, we could fly when her computer suggested, which would take us on a 30 hour trip without any breaks. She said we should call the airlines directly to see if they had additional seats available. We were in the process of doing that--calling around looking for seats----when I remembered that LoveHubbie had wanted me to use frequent flier miles. So we called our credit card company's reward department, hoping they'd have seats.

We went through the whole itinerary with the credit card customer service person, who approved it. He then transfered us to their travel awards section. We went through the whole itinerary again, and the travel agent attempted to book the flights. His computer came up with a suggested booking, and he said we'd have to use that (another 30 hour tour). Alternatively, we could get a special waiver from the credit card company, and we could stay overnight in Miami; it would cost more miles, but we had them to spare.We agreed. The travel agent tried to transfer us back, and the call was dropped.

So we started all over again, going through the layers of computerized voice mail. We eventually reached a different credit card customer service person. This person had some notes about our case, fortunately. However, it ended up that the travel agent had taken our frequent flier miles and booked a ticket with his suggested but inappropriate junket. So we explained everything for a third time, and got awarded the special waiver. Next we were transferred to a travel awards agent again to cancel the erroneous ticket and get a corrected ticket. We went over everything a fourth time. This lovely woman, named Kadeesha, worked with us for almost an hour. At one point we needed to tell her our exact names as on our passports. The problem was whether or not the middle names were each written out or abbreviated, which I had no idea about. So I had to go on a passport hunt, but miraculously found both in several minutes.

We had finished everything we'd thought, and then Kadessha's computer froze up and crashed. So we started all over again. Fortunately she hadn't lost the seats or the pricing (we'd had to pay above the amount of the frequent flier awards). She had lost the rest, but we were getting really good at going over our itinerary by now.

Sylvia worked on the computer while I was on the phone and together we spent 6 hours on the flight arrangements. But we did it!

On Tuesday we thought we'd have no problems getting the hotel reservations. How hard could this be? Sylvia easily found a hotel with a shuttle in Miami, but we needed a late checkout because of the odd times we'd be arriving and leaving. She kept getting different stories on the cost and could not get any of the reservation people to agree to guarantee the late checkout for us. Finally we got a manager and made the arrangements.

Next were the hotel reservations at the wedding site. This turned out to be harder. First we had to find out what type of international calling I had on my phone. We couldn't find any bills with account numbers or contact numbers--the bills had vanished, as they are wont to do when you need them. When you don't they seem to be all over the place! Thus, we had to contact the phone company. The company said we didn't have service with them. Finally Sylvia found a special number for the phone company where our service was acknowledged and they confirmed that I already had calling capabilities to Brazil. It was included in the package I'd bought at one time for calling to Canada.

So we called Brazil. We had to look up how to do so on Google--what the country code was and how to do it via a wikihow.

When we reached the hotel for the wedding venue in Brazil, no one there spoke any English or Spanish (Sylvia speaks Spanish). We could not get beyond our hellos. We had a feeling that the people at the Brazilian inn were trying to give us another number (it sounded like a number, at least, based on their pacing) but we couldn't tell. So we had to give up. The reason this is so important is because we have to have a confirmed hotel reservation to submit the visa paperwork. Fortunately, our Brazilian relatives will help us with this. I emailed them and they will make the arrangements with a U.S. account and we will deposit the money here.

Next we attempted to fill out the visa paperwork. This is all done online but with no explanation of the online entries. For example, I have to fill in all of the names I have ever been known by, all five of them.  The stories behind each of these names are many. But then I had to choose the reason for the name changes, and I had only two choices. Neither one fit for most names. Most of the other entries were like that, and no one to ask about what they really wanted. We left the form partially filled out and much of it with guesses. When we then tried to print it out, it suddenly turned into a single page format with OCR bars instead of readable text. We printed out the single page, even though it was just a page of bar codes. Perhaps it is meant to be like this! Then I went back and using the back button, accessed the previous pages of the visa application. I refilled in all of the data (which of course had vanished) and printed it out. Backed up, refilled info, printed out. I finally had copies of all of the pages.

Time spent on Tuesday = 10 man hours altogether. Total time so far = 16 man hours for Sylvia an myself.

Now, on to visa photos, bank deposit for hotel reservations, confirmation of hotel reservation for visa, yellow fever vaccine, and more visa application paperwork. We'll pick this up on Monday, when perhaps we'll be ready to get an agent in San Francisco. This agent will hopefully be able to get us an appointment at the Brazilian consulate in San Francisco. If they can do this, the next step would be to have our visa application looked at.

Believe it or not, my anxiety about this is greatly diminished because we are moving forward very slowly, but in the right direction. And I at least can see what needs to be done here. My fear of being overwhelmed has abated. This could actually happen.